The recent re-emergence of the troll with many names (Hot-Jok, AuntieDena72, Rocker65, BringingDownTheBarracks) reminded me of one of his most famous troll threads. The thread was an absolute riot. It reached 400 posts in a matter of hours, mostly off-topic banter, but I didn't have the space to save them all.
Rocker65
This board is the most pathetic thing I've ever seen
I'm not suggesting that talking about Lost on a message board is bad. Hell, I don't even care about off topics that much. But you guys who are here every *beep* day! Seriously what the *beep*?
And you talk about the same stuff and make the same stupid jokes!
Hey, I know, I'll ask a question, and then thank people in advance!!!
Hahah that's really funny!!
Or, I'll quote some stupid random line from Lost and call it a meme!! WOw we are the kings of comedy!
This place is so predictable. Here's how the rest of the responses will go.
Flowerlord: Som etime sIwonder
Ze Salesman (or whatever retarded name he is this week): beep beep Richie
Tuuls: Just don't come here then! Oh by the way anyone want to talk about my broken ankle??
BishFiscuit: [sad5]
Ankiel: What's new on the (insert board I may have visited once before here) board? (OMG THAT'S SUCH A FUNNY COMEBACK!!!)
Nana: I don't want to talk about this, instead I want to ask some personal question to everyone on the board and label it OT, because I'm DYING to here everyone's opinion!!
Cornchunk: Wow! Ankiel answered! This is the best day of my life!
Ze Salesman (again): Don't you have something to mop up?
Ben the Ripper: To get everyone's attention, I'm going to call you fat and threaten to murder you! That will get the board to give me the love I so desperately crave!
srstone: This thread is funny, but enough about you. Let's talk about all the sports teams I like!
Steak: I don't know my son's name so I'll just call him the boy!
MissMorticia: I can't wait to get to post 69 and flaunt my amazing intellect to everyone!
QOS: A couple of guys jumped Mark Silverman (HAHAHAHA I LOVE THIS QUOTE! BECAUSE JACK SAID IT TO HIS DAD!)
Some random wannabe poster: Shoulda Stayed Down Chack!!
Rose_Beaver: That's a funny response because Jack sounds like Chack! Do you SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE????
And so forth....
Ben The Ripper
You are fat and I want to murder you. Give me the love I so desperately crave.
nEcRiiD
cool story bro
SuperN Lostie
original, dude.
not that it matters, but i'm pretty sure most of us have menial boring day jobs which allows us to post on msg boards for at least 8 hours straight. one of those people is me. do you seeeeeeeeeeeeeee? Thanks in Advance.
Bitchez McSteve
Good post. Now I am just curious as to who you're a sock puppet of, ya know? Since you were too scared to post this on your regular account.
Is that you, Sugar?
Bruce Campbell For Lost
There's nothing wrong with any of that.
Ghost_Of_Third_Island
Sock account: kudos, sir.
Not a sock account: scary lurker
HesOurEwe
Shoulda stayed down Chack!
Cornchunk
You seem to know us pretty well.
Srstone71
I definitely think this is a sock. Probably someone who wishes they were noticed more often and changed their account status or something to this name.
But enough about this thread. How about the victories for the Celtics and Bruins last night??
Cornchunk
Where the f'ck is ankiel!!!???!?!
Mikhails_Eyepatch
This begs the question of how you know all of this information about the posters. The only explanation is that you spend way too much time on this board, which makes you a huge hypocrite. So, please, have a nice day, and shut the hell up.
generic_squeegee
You seem to know everyone and how they operate pretty well, and yet you left me off! Screw you buddy, I'm a vital cog here probably! Also, watch my movies, you stupid bastards! http://www.youtube.com/user/genericsqueegee
Steak4241
I know my son's name.
It's Austin.
See?
Bitchez McSteve
I won't lie, his shout-out to you made me lol.
Steak4241
Me too.
I usually don't get mentioned in these rants.
AquarianGuy2
Alot of people didn't get their fiber this morning at all.
Rocker65
You guys are so pathetic. I've been lurking and posting under other ids for years. Who's? That doesn't matter now. They have been ignored for years so why should you care. All I can say is that I can keep going. I can give common responses for almost everyone here.
Bruce Campbell For LOST
Do me!
Rocker65
Knowing you, that post has nothing to do with the subject of the thread. You just always need to say it.
Bruce Campbell For LOST
No, that's not me. That sucked. Try again.
Rocker65
Ok, how about "I'm a girl but I talk about things like boobies, and farts and *beep* because it makes me sound hillarious!!!!!"
Bruce Campbell For LOST
No, that sucks, too.
Cornchunk
You've obviously done your homework, son.
TakeYourLunchPhil
Don't you have something to mop up?
Giraffe Monster
Do me too!
I guess I could be credited alongside MissM.
generic squeegee
Wait, wait wait...so you've been lurking here for years, to the point where you know who everyone is and exactly what their responses would be to a creepy degree of accuracy, but we're the pathetic ones? Now I just feel bad for you. But you still forgot me, so drink a bucket of AIDS.
Muldernscully
Quote:I can give common responses for almost everyone here.
Cool! Me, next! Me, next!
QoS007
Quote: I've been lurking and posting under other ids for years.
...and we're the pathetic ones?
whiteShadow00
Why does my meme have to be said by some random wannabe poster?
Cornchunk
If the shoe fits......
BURN!!!!1111!!!!!
guamcasey
**CUE GAY ASS TROMBONE**
Rocker65
Oh cue gay ass trombone. That's a good one!
How many of you are fantasizing about that daniel cribb kid right now?
Oh wait! Nevermind! Let's create a Boone meme instead! That will be so fun!
But wait we can't we don't have memes in Iraq we have reeds!!!!!!!!!!
Oh by teh way IT MAKES SENSE!!!!!!!!1
OMG THIS IS THE MOST POST EVER!!!
Ben The Ripper
Oh my guam, you're just like us! ^__^
TakeYourLunchPhil
YOUR THE ONE WHO HATES YOURSELF.
theFragile75
Rocker, why are you so angry?
Ghost_Of_Third_Island
He's a regular Freddie Wilson, that one.
elegant Audrey
If that's a veiled criticism at me, I won't hear it and I won't respond to it.
Culwin
See that link called "Ignore this User" ?
Try it, you'll like it.
TakeYourLunchPhil
You're not as observant as you think. I only say Beep Beep, Richie if someone says *beep*.
theFragile75
Don't you have something to mop up?
TakeYourLunchPhil
What's it look like we're doing? We're shooting things.
Rocker65
I just realized I never even mentioned the pregnant Lesbian. She sucks too
Ghost_Of_Third_Island
You also forgot to mention the poster who tried to start some threads awhile ago in hopes of being noticed. Then got extremely sad about it when no one cared and decided to start a mean thread to get attention.
BitchezMcSteve
Who's the pregnant lesbian?
Bruce Campbell For LOST
I think he meant ZigMa, but she's not pregnant or lesbian.
Bitchez McSteve
Are we sure?
ZigzMomma
Val, thanks for thinkin' of me. And Steve. Eat schit and die.
generic squeegee
So are you the pregnant lesbian? I'm so confused. And hurt. Guy didn't even answer my simple question. I hope it burns when he pees.
ZigzMomma
Definitely NOT me.
Bitchez McSteve
Fine.
Rocker65
No I mean that chick who got pregnant when she cheated on her girlfriend with a dude.
Then she told everyone all about it.
Bitchez McSteve
I don't think Jaytrix had a girlfriend
Sawyer90
I wouldn't have thought he had the proper equipment.
Bitchez McSteve
Have you kind of turned into a lurker, ol' buddy ol' pal?
Sawyer90
Meh, I still visit here often enough but don't post as much. I haven't been on all weekend, I was busy watching Scotland get raped by Holland. :(
AquarianGuy2
That sounds like a good orgy to me.
Sawyer90
It wasn't. I felt rather ill afterwards. What's the point of orgies anyway? You're basically just multiplying the number of people you won't be able to look in the eye afterwards.
Bitchez McSteve
That sucks. How is Scotland looking for SA 2010?
Sawyer90
Not too good, we have to win every game from now on. Sounds easy enough, except we have to play Holland again. If we don't qualify then my plans for visiting SA in 2010 will be dead in the water.
Bitchez McSteve
Oh you were gonna go ? That would be awesome.
VVMini
It wasn't that bad. We got like 4 chances and 3 of them went in. We played nowhere near as good as we could play. Robben was uncatchable though.
Sawyer90
I was waiting on you showing up. Yes, the Dutch players are class. But I thought Robben should have been sent off for that pathetic dive, then writhing around on the ground like he'd stood on a landmine. Also, we had an absolutely perfect goal disallowed. There was absolutely nothing wrong with it. Other than that, you were the better team.
VVMini
Yes it was a clear goal, although the referee did blew his whistle when the ball was midway in the air. Still don't know what for. Don't think it would've made a difference, but it was kinda sucky for you guys. And yes, Robben is a diver, always been, although he's learning to control it now. Sometimes his old nature comes crawling up. He's such a great player if he doesn't dive.
Sawyer90
Well I think our goal would have slowed play down and changed the game completely. Let's face it, 2-1 looks a lot more respectable than 3-0. Maybe Holland will do us a favour and destroy Norway?
Sakujo
I can't argue your general point, but some of those folks are good peoples IMHO. But i guess it's in the eye of the beholder.
Steak4241
General Point! [salutes]
LockesNoose
us newbee's are always left out, but moma says i'll be pathetic someday!
AquarianGuy2
This thread will officially be funny if Miss M gets post 69. It will seal the deal so to speak.
Giraffe Monster
Sorry, didn't happen!
AquarianGuy2
It's okay. As long as one of you two get it. It's just that she was mentioned, specifically.
Miss Morticia
Honestly, when's the last time I even tried for a 69?
Geronimo Jackson Five
I'm not on your list? Eff you, OP.
Candall
Yeah, it hurt my feelings a little bit, too.
Diluculum
Aww, feeling left out?
Rocker65
OMG THESE PARDOY POSTS ABOUT ME ARE SO *beep* FUNNY!!!!
QoS007
Beep beep, Richie.
Diluculum
it makes sense
Geronimo Jackson Five
What's a PARDOY?
Rocker65
You want more impressions?? I got them!
MulderNScully: Hey everyone! I don't drink, but I make up for it by being obsessed with X-Files!
Geronimo Jackson Five: I just showed up recently, but I apparently used to post here years ago so that makes me so cool!!!
Candall: I think I'm so much smarter than anyone else here because I talk with such a high intellect!
All the girls here I didn't mention: If we talk about guy stuff, we can fit in at this board so much better!!
Candall
I talk how I talk, TheManFromTallahassee. Or is it Vincent Toomey? Either way, sorry you can't keep up.
Bitchez McSteve
Not TheManFromTallahassee, at least. He's this guy http://www.imdb.com/user/ur5355280/boards/profile/, and I don't think he would make a sock puppet to diss people, he's usually good at being a prick on his regular account. But who knows, this is the LOST board, anything's possible!!!!!111
Hes Our Robot
TheManFromTallahassee/Shadow seems quite unlikely to do this with a sock account, and certainly seems unlikely to feel that the board hasn't noticed him.
Candall
Yeah, you guys are right. Plus, he would have called me Papa Smurf or something. I'm pretty sure it's Sam/Vincent Toomey.
generic_squeegee
Because you're Communist?
Candall
Yes, but bear in mind that's only his opinion.
Bitchez McSteve
Do me... please, my god.
Margaery Tyrell
That's what she said.
Rocker65
I'm a pathetic detroit sports fan who likes the worst sports team ever put together! I say I make up for it by liking hockey, but when you're a fan of the worst sports team of all time you can't make up for *beep*
Bitchez McSteve
I love you
Ghost_Of_Third_Island
--- ---, Richie
(chat room shout out)
Muldernscully
Quote: MulderNScully: Hey everyone! I don't drink, but I make up for it by being obsessed with X-Files!
Score! FYI, It's a lowercase ns. Only the 'M' is capitalized in my username.
TakeYourLunchPhil
That's about as funny as a screen door on a battleship.
Geronimo Jackson Five
^ On a submarine, ya dork!
Valenzetti
Why am I never mentioned in a list? I've been posting on this board for something like 2 years now. I'm pathetic too!!! NOTICE ME GODDAMMIT!!!
Ghost_Of_Third_Island
Yoda, why you bein a playa hate-a?
You know that I must confront Lord Vader
But Luke, not ready are you
There's a city in the clouds where they're keepin my crew!
Geronimo Jackson Five
Knock 'em out the box, Luke... knock 'em out the box!
Hes Our Robot
Those guys should be ashame of their self for taking and having the time to write stupid joke. Also vandalizing IMDb property.
Bish-Fiscuit
[sad5]
Maidmarcia
Oooo do me do me!
Hes Our Acolyte
Did you get forgotten too marcia?
VVMini
The beautiful ones always get left behind
Hes Our Acolyte
Fine then! We'll start our own thread! With blackjack! And hookers! You know what, forget the blackjack!
HesOurEwe
Will there be punch & pie?
VVMini
Yes, but there will not be any coffee.
Hes Our Acolyte
MO PEOPLE WILL COME IF WE SAY WE HAVE PUNCH AND PAAH!
Kimmeister
I have 5/8 of a lemon meringue pie at home, do you guys want some?
Candall
Do you have some sort of chart that tells you the exact fraction or something?
Sunday, 6 June 2010
Thursday, 20 May 2010
Character notes: Ab Aeterno
Ricardus
- His giggle was adorable. The nonsense that spilled out of his mouth afterwards made him seem insane. (-1)
- It was actually ridiculously exciting just hearing the whoosh sound on Richard, to be honest. (+1)
- Can ride a horse. (+1)
- Killing the Doctor was a little stupid and contrived. (-1)
- His first few days on the Island are a real ordeal. He did well to survive. (+1)
- So a boar knocked the tool out of your hand? Use your feet, Richard! Use your feet! (-1)
- They keep repeating the words "hell" and the "devil", even before he reaches the Island, so I guess it's believeable Richard was suckered into believing that. "Isabella" tells him it's hell, which is why he believes it when Man In Black also tells him. You can't fault a man who just wants his wife and absolution. (+1)
- Recieves the drowning treatment from Jacob, in a scene reminiscent of Pellegrino's role in The Big Lebowski. (-1)
- The questions he asks Jacob were perfectly sensible. It's not often a character does that. (+1)
- Takes on a job Jacob gives him. He wants to live forever. Points for immortality. (+1)
- He does the right thing by standing by Jacob's side. Let's see him go kick some smoke-ass! (+1)
- The Isabella reunion was a very touching moment, and Nestor's acting throughout the whole episode was phenomenal. (+3)
Flocke
- We first see him in his smoke form, where he does what he does best and saves Richard from the officers who intend to kill him. (+1)
- His manipulation of Richard, whilst unsuccessful, was a pretty good effort. This episode feels like a Greek myth for most of it. (+1)
- Most of his speech to Richard about not letting him talk was exactly the same as what Dogen told Sayid, which I thought was pretty cool.
- "see you around". "Sooner than you think" he says to Jacob. 1000 years is soon? (-1)
- Wasting perfectly good wine. (-1)
- It was supposed to be symbolic, doyyy. (+1)
Ilana
- Got the first of three flashbacks in the episode, but hers was by far the lamest, as it was a small extension of a scene we've already seen, telling us info we already know. (-1)
Hurley
- Being the medium with which to conduct Richard and Isabella's reunion was sweet, and one of the best uses of his power to date. (+1)
- Is this the first episode where he actually speaks Spanish? It was good to hear. (+1)
Jack
- Asks Hurley what he's doing when talking to Isabella. "It's nothing to do with you, Jack" he tells him. PWNed. (-1)
Sun
- Actually answered more questions than she asked this time. (+1)
Ben & Frank
Appeared in this episode, but did little except sit around a camp fire. This was very much a one man show.
1. Sawyer - 18
2. Flocke - 14 (+1)
3. Hurley - 12
4. Sayid - 10
5. Jack - 8 (-1)
6. Locke - 8
7. Ben - 8 (0)
8. Richard - 6 (+5)
9. Ilana - 5 (-1)
10. Kate - 5
11. Miles - 5
12. Claire - 4
13. Frank - 3 (0)
14. Desmond - 2
15. Sun - 1 (+1)
16. Jin - 0
- His giggle was adorable. The nonsense that spilled out of his mouth afterwards made him seem insane. (-1)
- It was actually ridiculously exciting just hearing the whoosh sound on Richard, to be honest. (+1)
- Can ride a horse. (+1)
- Killing the Doctor was a little stupid and contrived. (-1)
- His first few days on the Island are a real ordeal. He did well to survive. (+1)
- So a boar knocked the tool out of your hand? Use your feet, Richard! Use your feet! (-1)
- They keep repeating the words "hell" and the "devil", even before he reaches the Island, so I guess it's believeable Richard was suckered into believing that. "Isabella" tells him it's hell, which is why he believes it when Man In Black also tells him. You can't fault a man who just wants his wife and absolution. (+1)
- Recieves the drowning treatment from Jacob, in a scene reminiscent of Pellegrino's role in The Big Lebowski. (-1)
- The questions he asks Jacob were perfectly sensible. It's not often a character does that. (+1)
- Takes on a job Jacob gives him. He wants to live forever. Points for immortality. (+1)
- He does the right thing by standing by Jacob's side. Let's see him go kick some smoke-ass! (+1)
- The Isabella reunion was a very touching moment, and Nestor's acting throughout the whole episode was phenomenal. (+3)
Flocke
- We first see him in his smoke form, where he does what he does best and saves Richard from the officers who intend to kill him. (+1)
- His manipulation of Richard, whilst unsuccessful, was a pretty good effort. This episode feels like a Greek myth for most of it. (+1)
- Most of his speech to Richard about not letting him talk was exactly the same as what Dogen told Sayid, which I thought was pretty cool.
- "see you around". "Sooner than you think" he says to Jacob. 1000 years is soon? (-1)
- Wasting perfectly good wine. (-1)
- It was supposed to be symbolic, doyyy. (+1)
Ilana
- Got the first of three flashbacks in the episode, but hers was by far the lamest, as it was a small extension of a scene we've already seen, telling us info we already know. (-1)
Hurley
- Being the medium with which to conduct Richard and Isabella's reunion was sweet, and one of the best uses of his power to date. (+1)
- Is this the first episode where he actually speaks Spanish? It was good to hear. (+1)
Jack
- Asks Hurley what he's doing when talking to Isabella. "It's nothing to do with you, Jack" he tells him. PWNed. (-1)
Sun
- Actually answered more questions than she asked this time. (+1)
Ben & Frank
Appeared in this episode, but did little except sit around a camp fire. This was very much a one man show.
1. Sawyer - 18
2. Flocke - 14 (+1)
3. Hurley - 12
4. Sayid - 10
5. Jack - 8 (-1)
6. Locke - 8
7. Ben - 8 (0)
8. Richard - 6 (+5)
9. Ilana - 5 (-1)
10. Kate - 5
11. Miles - 5
12. Claire - 4
13. Frank - 3 (0)
14. Desmond - 2
15. Sun - 1 (+1)
16. Jin - 0
Character notes: Recon
Sawyer
- Sawyer's getting laid...again. Sawyer's job is to sleep with suspect's wives? Where do I apply for his job? The police were listening in on him doing it and he still manages to perform admirably, so kudos. (+3)
- Whether you like Charlotte or not, having sex with two girls in one episode is pretty impressive. (+1)
- To apologise to Charlotte for kicking her out and acting like a jerk he shows up with a flower and some beer. After being rejected, he leaves the flower but keeps the beer. Priorities! (+1)
- Just because Locke has a good relationship with Cooper, doesn't mean he isn't still an asshole, as proved by Sawyer still being sans parents. His revenge is still on, just in a different form. (-1)
- Figures out Zoe is a fake after she says she has a boyfriend. Because that is pretty unbelievable. Because she isn't that pretty. Heh. (+1)
- Holds his own against Charles Widmore. "Take me to your leader" made me chuckle too. (+1)
- Is playing a pretty clever game by pitting Flocke and Widmore against eachother. Both think he's on their side and conning the other one. I guess that's why it's called Recon! Or not. (+1)
- They're taking a sub...what? Lamest cliffhanger ever. I must've missed the Sawyer flashback where he's a Naval commander. (-1)
Kate
- It was quite a surprise for poor Kate to see Claire attack her. Good to see them make up in the end though. (+1)
- Turns up in the flashsideways to interrupt Miles and Sawyer's bonding. What a bitch! (-1)
Claire
- Failed to do what half of the audience wanted...kill Kate. (-1)
- They hug it out in the end, though. Daww! (+1)
Flocke
- His bitchslap on Claire was pretty epic. (+1)
- Admits to Sawyer he massacred the temple but somehow makes it seem reasonable. It must be Terry's calm demenour. (+1)
- Not much of a mastermind if Sawyer has to do all the work for him. (-1)
- Got a good heart-to-heart with Kate where he explains that even smoke monsters have mommy issues. It set up his flashback for later, more than anything. (+2)
- Thinks he has Sawyer's loyalty. He's wrong. (-1)
Miles
- Miles and Sawyer as partners was a great idea. Just like when they were both working security in '77. (+1)
- His Top Gun-esque relationship with Sawyer was a little gay, doncha think? Trying to get him to open up, acting offended and throwing a tantrum when he doesn't. And what's with the terrible blind dates he keeps setting him up on? (-1)
- Dispenses sage advice to Sawyer, amidst homosexual undertones. (+1)
Jin
- Is still on crutches, poor guy. This renders him a little useless this ep. (-1)
Sayid
- Did nothing whilst Claire had a knife to Kate's throat. I don't care for apathetic Sayid. (-1)
1. Sawyer - 18 (+6)
2. Flocke - 13 (+2)
3. Hurley - 12
4. Sayid - 10 (-1)
5. Jack - 9
6. Locke - 8
7. Ben - 8
8. Ilana - 6
9. Kate - 5 (0)
10. Miles - 5 (+1)
11. Claire - 4 (0)
12. Frank - 3
13. Desmond - 2
14. Richard - 1
15. Jin - 0 (-1)
16. Sun - 0
- Sawyer's getting laid...again. Sawyer's job is to sleep with suspect's wives? Where do I apply for his job? The police were listening in on him doing it and he still manages to perform admirably, so kudos. (+3)
- Whether you like Charlotte or not, having sex with two girls in one episode is pretty impressive. (+1)
- To apologise to Charlotte for kicking her out and acting like a jerk he shows up with a flower and some beer. After being rejected, he leaves the flower but keeps the beer. Priorities! (+1)
- Just because Locke has a good relationship with Cooper, doesn't mean he isn't still an asshole, as proved by Sawyer still being sans parents. His revenge is still on, just in a different form. (-1)
- Figures out Zoe is a fake after she says she has a boyfriend. Because that is pretty unbelievable. Because she isn't that pretty. Heh. (+1)
- Holds his own against Charles Widmore. "Take me to your leader" made me chuckle too. (+1)
- Is playing a pretty clever game by pitting Flocke and Widmore against eachother. Both think he's on their side and conning the other one. I guess that's why it's called Recon! Or not. (+1)
- They're taking a sub...what? Lamest cliffhanger ever. I must've missed the Sawyer flashback where he's a Naval commander. (-1)
Kate
- It was quite a surprise for poor Kate to see Claire attack her. Good to see them make up in the end though. (+1)
- Turns up in the flashsideways to interrupt Miles and Sawyer's bonding. What a bitch! (-1)
Claire
- Failed to do what half of the audience wanted...kill Kate. (-1)
- They hug it out in the end, though. Daww! (+1)
Flocke
- His bitchslap on Claire was pretty epic. (+1)
- Admits to Sawyer he massacred the temple but somehow makes it seem reasonable. It must be Terry's calm demenour. (+1)
- Not much of a mastermind if Sawyer has to do all the work for him. (-1)
- Got a good heart-to-heart with Kate where he explains that even smoke monsters have mommy issues. It set up his flashback for later, more than anything. (+2)
- Thinks he has Sawyer's loyalty. He's wrong. (-1)
Miles
- Miles and Sawyer as partners was a great idea. Just like when they were both working security in '77. (+1)
- His Top Gun-esque relationship with Sawyer was a little gay, doncha think? Trying to get him to open up, acting offended and throwing a tantrum when he doesn't. And what's with the terrible blind dates he keeps setting him up on? (-1)
- Dispenses sage advice to Sawyer, amidst homosexual undertones. (+1)
Jin
- Is still on crutches, poor guy. This renders him a little useless this ep. (-1)
Sayid
- Did nothing whilst Claire had a knife to Kate's throat. I don't care for apathetic Sayid. (-1)
1. Sawyer - 18 (+6)
2. Flocke - 13 (+2)
3. Hurley - 12
4. Sayid - 10 (-1)
5. Jack - 9
6. Locke - 8
7. Ben - 8
8. Ilana - 6
9. Kate - 5 (0)
10. Miles - 5 (+1)
11. Claire - 4 (0)
12. Frank - 3
13. Desmond - 2
14. Richard - 1
15. Jin - 0 (-1)
16. Sun - 0
Tuesday, 18 May 2010
Character notes: Dr Linus
Ben
- LOST valley high? Um, OK. Ben trying to be evil whilst dressed like a professor just doesn't do it for me. And his sidekick Arzt just adds to the embarrassment. (-1)
- "It's Dr Linus, actually". he sounds like Sidney Poitier from In The Heat OfThe Night. (+1)
- Now, Ben has a good relationship with his father. He gives him his oxygen to breathe, instead of taking it away. Yay for opposite land! (+1)
- Alex isn't Ben's daughter in this timeline, which makes his interest in her a little creepy. (-1)
- As many pointed out, the Principal's ultimatum is a weak one. Ben could simply just wait until after Alex gets into college to execute his plan. But that would negate the point of the episode, which was Ben realising his pursuit of power is meaningless.
- Does the scene where Ben drops his stick and pegs it strongly resemble a looney tunes cartoon or not?
- Ben's apology? Easily the best scene of season six. The previous times they've tried to get sympathy for Ben haven't done it for me, but that monologue is fucking heartbreaking. (+4)
- Ben did the right thing and got Alex her letter. He even sacrificed his parking space to placate that whiner, Arzt. Aww. (+1)
Ilana
- Made it perfectly clear she had no plan whatsoever. Fail. (-1)
- I think people already guessed the fatherly connection, but it was hinted here again.
- "If anyone wants to find your husband, it's me" - awful scene with Sun. And if a character can look awful next to Sun, then buddy you're in real trouble. (-1)
- Crazy Ilana is hilarious, look at some of the faces she comes out with. But I do quite like the badass side to her. (+2)
- Looked quite sexy eating a mango. (+1)
- "I'll have you" - very sweet moment. (+1)
Miles
- "Uh ohh"..Miles doesn't hesistate to taunt Ben after dropping him in the shit. Funny stuff. (+1)
- Not only that, he later comes up to him offering him food on a banana leaf, haha. Ben's last-gasp attempt to get him to save his ass is denied. (+1)
- He found the diamonds and dug them up. Nice callback to Nikki and Paulo. (+1)
Jack
- Jack is one crazy mofo, if he trusts his faith enough to watch a dynamite stick fizzle out right in front of him. His overconfident grin is great too. The non-Ben highlight of the episode. (+3)
Richard
- We've never really seen Richard so defeated. Nestor was great. Dropping hints about his past to set up his later flashback was great. (+1)
- At least he's not Stalin. Wait, what? Oh, stalling. That too. But he should get a point for not being Stalin, as that is most definitely a plus. You wouldn't follow Stalin into the jungle. (+1)
Hurley
- His stalling (sorry, "Stalin") tactics weren't very effective. (-1)
- Asking Richard if he was a cyborg was hilarious. Although Hurley never met Richard in 1977, if I remember correctly. I guess characters only tell eachother stuff when it's convenient. (+1)
- Got to do the classic "tun towards the beach in slow-motion" shot again. (+1)
Sun
- Asks about Jin, for a change. (-1)
- I liked her participation in the group hug scene. Cute shrug of the shoulders. (+1)
Frank
- Recounts how he missed flying Oceanic 815...he overslept. Huh. Other than that, another uneventful day in Frank land.
Flocke
- Has acquired Jedi powers now and breaks Ben free, to give him an offer that Ben doesn't take. (-1)
Locke
- Carries enough weight to encourage Ben to go for the Principal's job. Similarly, I heard Obama was inspired to run for President by a random homeless guy on the street. (+1)
1. Sawyer - 12
2. Hurley - 12 (+1)
3. Flocke - 11 (-1)
4. Sayid - 11
5. Jack - 9 (+3)
6. Locke - 8 (+1)
7. Ben - 8 (+5)
8. Ilana - 6 (+2)
9. Kate - 5
10. Miles - 4 (+3)
11. Claire - 4
12. Frank - 3 (0)
13. Desmond - 2
14. Jin - 1
15. Richard - 1 (+2)
16. Sun - 0 (0)
- LOST valley high? Um, OK. Ben trying to be evil whilst dressed like a professor just doesn't do it for me. And his sidekick Arzt just adds to the embarrassment. (-1)
- "It's Dr Linus, actually". he sounds like Sidney Poitier from In The Heat OfThe Night. (+1)
- Now, Ben has a good relationship with his father. He gives him his oxygen to breathe, instead of taking it away. Yay for opposite land! (+1)
- Alex isn't Ben's daughter in this timeline, which makes his interest in her a little creepy. (-1)
- As many pointed out, the Principal's ultimatum is a weak one. Ben could simply just wait until after Alex gets into college to execute his plan. But that would negate the point of the episode, which was Ben realising his pursuit of power is meaningless.
- Does the scene where Ben drops his stick and pegs it strongly resemble a looney tunes cartoon or not?
- Ben's apology? Easily the best scene of season six. The previous times they've tried to get sympathy for Ben haven't done it for me, but that monologue is fucking heartbreaking. (+4)
- Ben did the right thing and got Alex her letter. He even sacrificed his parking space to placate that whiner, Arzt. Aww. (+1)
Ilana
- Made it perfectly clear she had no plan whatsoever. Fail. (-1)
- I think people already guessed the fatherly connection, but it was hinted here again.
- "If anyone wants to find your husband, it's me" - awful scene with Sun. And if a character can look awful next to Sun, then buddy you're in real trouble. (-1)
- Crazy Ilana is hilarious, look at some of the faces she comes out with. But I do quite like the badass side to her. (+2)
- Looked quite sexy eating a mango. (+1)
- "I'll have you" - very sweet moment. (+1)
Miles
- "Uh ohh"..Miles doesn't hesistate to taunt Ben after dropping him in the shit. Funny stuff. (+1)
- Not only that, he later comes up to him offering him food on a banana leaf, haha. Ben's last-gasp attempt to get him to save his ass is denied. (+1)
- He found the diamonds and dug them up. Nice callback to Nikki and Paulo. (+1)
Jack
- Jack is one crazy mofo, if he trusts his faith enough to watch a dynamite stick fizzle out right in front of him. His overconfident grin is great too. The non-Ben highlight of the episode. (+3)
Richard
- We've never really seen Richard so defeated. Nestor was great. Dropping hints about his past to set up his later flashback was great. (+1)
- At least he's not Stalin. Wait, what? Oh, stalling. That too. But he should get a point for not being Stalin, as that is most definitely a plus. You wouldn't follow Stalin into the jungle. (+1)
Hurley
- His stalling (sorry, "Stalin") tactics weren't very effective. (-1)
- Asking Richard if he was a cyborg was hilarious. Although Hurley never met Richard in 1977, if I remember correctly. I guess characters only tell eachother stuff when it's convenient. (+1)
- Got to do the classic "tun towards the beach in slow-motion" shot again. (+1)
Sun
- Asks about Jin, for a change. (-1)
- I liked her participation in the group hug scene. Cute shrug of the shoulders. (+1)
Frank
- Recounts how he missed flying Oceanic 815...he overslept. Huh. Other than that, another uneventful day in Frank land.
Flocke
- Has acquired Jedi powers now and breaks Ben free, to give him an offer that Ben doesn't take. (-1)
Locke
- Carries enough weight to encourage Ben to go for the Principal's job. Similarly, I heard Obama was inspired to run for President by a random homeless guy on the street. (+1)
1. Sawyer - 12
2. Hurley - 12 (+1)
3. Flocke - 11 (-1)
4. Sayid - 11
5. Jack - 9 (+3)
6. Locke - 8 (+1)
7. Ben - 8 (+5)
8. Ilana - 6 (+2)
9. Kate - 5
10. Miles - 4 (+3)
11. Claire - 4
12. Frank - 3 (0)
13. Desmond - 2
14. Jin - 1
15. Richard - 1 (+2)
16. Sun - 0 (0)
Tuesday, 4 May 2010
Character notes: Sundown
Sayid
- Nadia is doing his brother? The pussy who can't even kill a chicken? I guess they're really not meant to be together. (-1)
- His fight with the Samurai resembled some cheesy kung-fu movie but I still loved it. (+1)
- This isn't really Sayid's fault, but I'll put it here anyway as he was seen mending the damage...who the fuck throws a boomerang indoors?
- Sayid had an epic fight with Keamy in S4, but didn't get to deliver the final blow. Here he makes up for it. Badass once again. (+1)
- Maybe I wasn't supposed to root for Sayid as he killed Dogen and Lennon, but I did anyway! Lennon is a one-way translator for a guy who speaks perfect English. Dick-flavoured lollipop springs to mind. So, kudos for getting rid of some of the dead wood. (Ha! That's funny, because...never mind) (+2)
- His evil grin as he greets Ben? Badass, once again. I can never use that word enough for this man. In fact, I might just replace the word "badass" with "Sayid" from now on. (+1)
Flocke
- I like how he barely reacted to having a sword plunged into his chest. He practically shakes it off. That was so Sayid! Hmm...doesn't really work. (+1)
- Working his manipulative magic once again. If he can give Sayid Nadia, is he responsible for the alt timeline somehow? (+1)
- Taking down the temple in smoke form. Awesome! (+1)
- Wait, why did killing Dogen mean he could cross the ash circle? That makes little sense to me, and the chances of it being explained are low.
Claire
- Does the bidding of evil Flocke. Ultimatums are more awesome when they come in the form of a sexy chick. (+1)
- Talking with Kate from the hole was great, particularly how she issued her warning. It also allowed us interesting camera angles on her cleavage. (+1)
- Calmly staying put as smokey kicks ass all around her was awesome. (+1)
Kate
- Delivers the supposedly great news of Aaron being in her care to Claire, not realising Claire secretly want to cut her. (-1)
- I LOL'ed when she slammed Lennon up against a wall and tough Kate came out. Lucky guy. (+1)
- Nice manouever to avoid Smokey there, girl. (+1)
- Locke seems surprised to see her following him. But she's just going wherever Claire goes.
Miles
- Wows at Kate's rearrival. Declares Claire "still hot". Is there anyone he doesn't want to get into the pants of? (+1)
- He might stand a better chance if he doesn't run off his own way and leave her to get Claire on his own. This is the part in horror movies where he'd be brutally murdered. Luckily team Ilana save him. (-1)
Ilana
- I thought her entrance to the temple with the rest of her group was very Sayid. OK, I'll stop that now. But it was kind of a wasted journey in retrospect as none of the candidates were there and this supposed safe place was about as safe as a neck within 5 miles of Sayid (yeah, that means not very safe). (+1)
Ben
- It was hilarious seeing him slowly back away from Sayid as he relaised he was in the presence of a madman. Also had an awfully hilarious face close-up when he says "I'll go get him!". Look out for that next time. (+1)
Frank
- Tells Miles to move his ass in his only line of the episode. But Miles listens, and the collective awesomeness of team Ilana gives points to all. All except Sun, anyway. Fuck Sun. (+1)
Sun
- Wasn't even shown until the second time we saw team Ilana. Is she that much of embarrassment to the screen? Found out Jin was alive but had no time to do anything about it. Lame. (-1)
1. Sawyer - 12
2. Flocke - 12 (+3)
3. Hurley - 11
4. Sayid - 11 (+4)
5. Locke - 7
6. Jack - 6
7. Kate - 5 (+1)
8. Ilana - 4 (+1)
9. Claire - 4 (+3)
10. Ben - 3 (+1)
11. Frank - 3 (+1)
12. Desmond - 2
13. Miles - 1 (0)
14. Jin - 1
15. Sun - 0 (-1)
16. Richard - -1
- Nadia is doing his brother? The pussy who can't even kill a chicken? I guess they're really not meant to be together. (-1)
- His fight with the Samurai resembled some cheesy kung-fu movie but I still loved it. (+1)
- This isn't really Sayid's fault, but I'll put it here anyway as he was seen mending the damage...who the fuck throws a boomerang indoors?
- Sayid had an epic fight with Keamy in S4, but didn't get to deliver the final blow. Here he makes up for it. Badass once again. (+1)
- Maybe I wasn't supposed to root for Sayid as he killed Dogen and Lennon, but I did anyway! Lennon is a one-way translator for a guy who speaks perfect English. Dick-flavoured lollipop springs to mind. So, kudos for getting rid of some of the dead wood. (Ha! That's funny, because...never mind) (+2)
- His evil grin as he greets Ben? Badass, once again. I can never use that word enough for this man. In fact, I might just replace the word "badass" with "Sayid" from now on. (+1)
Flocke
- I like how he barely reacted to having a sword plunged into his chest. He practically shakes it off. That was so Sayid! Hmm...doesn't really work. (+1)
- Working his manipulative magic once again. If he can give Sayid Nadia, is he responsible for the alt timeline somehow? (+1)
- Taking down the temple in smoke form. Awesome! (+1)
- Wait, why did killing Dogen mean he could cross the ash circle? That makes little sense to me, and the chances of it being explained are low.
Claire
- Does the bidding of evil Flocke. Ultimatums are more awesome when they come in the form of a sexy chick. (+1)
- Talking with Kate from the hole was great, particularly how she issued her warning. It also allowed us interesting camera angles on her cleavage. (+1)
- Calmly staying put as smokey kicks ass all around her was awesome. (+1)
Kate
- Delivers the supposedly great news of Aaron being in her care to Claire, not realising Claire secretly want to cut her. (-1)
- I LOL'ed when she slammed Lennon up against a wall and tough Kate came out. Lucky guy. (+1)
- Nice manouever to avoid Smokey there, girl. (+1)
- Locke seems surprised to see her following him. But she's just going wherever Claire goes.
Miles
- Wows at Kate's rearrival. Declares Claire "still hot". Is there anyone he doesn't want to get into the pants of? (+1)
- He might stand a better chance if he doesn't run off his own way and leave her to get Claire on his own. This is the part in horror movies where he'd be brutally murdered. Luckily team Ilana save him. (-1)
Ilana
- I thought her entrance to the temple with the rest of her group was very Sayid. OK, I'll stop that now. But it was kind of a wasted journey in retrospect as none of the candidates were there and this supposed safe place was about as safe as a neck within 5 miles of Sayid (yeah, that means not very safe). (+1)
Ben
- It was hilarious seeing him slowly back away from Sayid as he relaised he was in the presence of a madman. Also had an awfully hilarious face close-up when he says "I'll go get him!". Look out for that next time. (+1)
Frank
- Tells Miles to move his ass in his only line of the episode. But Miles listens, and the collective awesomeness of team Ilana gives points to all. All except Sun, anyway. Fuck Sun. (+1)
Sun
- Wasn't even shown until the second time we saw team Ilana. Is she that much of embarrassment to the screen? Found out Jin was alive but had no time to do anything about it. Lame. (-1)
1. Sawyer - 12
2. Flocke - 12 (+3)
3. Hurley - 11
4. Sayid - 11 (+4)
5. Locke - 7
6. Jack - 6
7. Kate - 5 (+1)
8. Ilana - 4 (+1)
9. Claire - 4 (+3)
10. Ben - 3 (+1)
11. Frank - 3 (+1)
12. Desmond - 2
13. Miles - 1 (0)
14. Jin - 1
15. Sun - 0 (-1)
16. Richard - -1
Character notes: Lighthouse
I said I'd do the next one quicker, but it actually took longer. Opposite day psych! I knocked this one out from scratch pretty quick, so lets see if I can do a few.
Jack
- The shot of Jack looking into the water was the second best shot of the episode. Just thought I'd say it.
- I betcha anything the reason Jack doesn't remember his appendix being taken out when he was 10 is because it never happened. That scar is from when Juliet did it in season 4. Somehow! Good lostigating, if I do say so myself.
- His hideous mother is right, his son ignores him. Jack is in need of some parenting 101. (-1)
- Then again, he didn't exactly have the best role model, did he? Island Jack even awknowledges he wouldn't be a good dad. I'm giving that point back. (+1)
- Re: cave conversation, wanting the Island to fix him...Jack appears to have lost his faith once again. Bloody hell, that didn't take long. (-1)
- Awww, I like how he bonds with his son after a slightly rocky start. (+2)
- Smashing the magic mirror. Douche move, Jack. (-1)
- I hate how the promo spoiled the mirror smash, too. Wait, can I really take points off for something the promo did? Don't be stupid.
- A ponderous, reflective Jack stares out at the ocean (best shot of the epsiode by the way) and finally begins to rediscover his true purpose. And this time, for real. (+1)
Hurley
- Hurley was the true hero of this episode. Standing up to Dogen in particular was awesome. "I'm a candidate and I can do what I want." (+1)
- Jacob "just appears whenever he wants like Obi-Wan Kenobi". Hurley has a real knack for saying it like it is in real person terms. And the closet Star Wars nerd in me dug the reference. (+1)
- Considering he's the only one who can talk to Jacob, I'd say he's a pretty key character right now. (+1)
Kate
- Other than Jack telling her about Claire it was a rather superfluous appearance, but sexy Kate holding a gun gets me hot. (+1)
Sayid
- Also superfluous, but it set up a future confrontation with Dogen.
Miles
- Reduced to the endless monotony of Os and Xs, (they don't call it tic tac toe where I'm from) a game where you'd have to be a moron or 3 years old to lose. Poor Miles.
Claire
- I like crazy Claire. She turns real badass when she smacks Justin in the leg. Back in S1, Claire would have been the least likely person ever to be a badass/villainess character. (+2)
- So Claire was abducted and escaped? I don't think I should give points for that because it seems pretty damn easy to escape those temple guys. I wouldn't be surprised if their security is an unguarded door that says "No escaping, please".
- Who the hell does she think she is threatening Kate? She walked off in the middle of the jungle, so you ain't got no right to threaten the girl who actually took care of your kid, honey! Wow, that sounded like a sassy Jerry Springer audience member. I am sorry. (+1)
Jin
- Jin basically sits immobilised and lies his ass off, going through the fucking scare of his life as someone he used to call friend liberally swings an axe around. (-1)
Flocke
- His ending cameo was less of a "ZOMG!" reveal and more of a "Oh, yeah? I kind of figured that out anyway". I suggest they rename the "dramatic horn" (we know what it's really called) the "horn of indifference" if there are more reveals of this calibre. (-1)
1. Sawyer - 12
2. Hurley - 11 (+3)
3. Flocke - 9 (-1)
4. Sayid - 7 (0)
5. Locke - 7
6. Jack - 6 (+1)
7. Kate - 5 (+1)
8. Ilana - 3
9. Desmond - 2
10. Ben - 2
11. Frank - 2
12. Jin - 1 (-1)
13. Miles - 1 (0)
14. Sun - 1
15. Claire - 1 (+1)
16. Richard - -1
Jack
- The shot of Jack looking into the water was the second best shot of the episode. Just thought I'd say it.
- I betcha anything the reason Jack doesn't remember his appendix being taken out when he was 10 is because it never happened. That scar is from when Juliet did it in season 4. Somehow! Good lostigating, if I do say so myself.
- His hideous mother is right, his son ignores him. Jack is in need of some parenting 101. (-1)
- Then again, he didn't exactly have the best role model, did he? Island Jack even awknowledges he wouldn't be a good dad. I'm giving that point back. (+1)
- Re: cave conversation, wanting the Island to fix him...Jack appears to have lost his faith once again. Bloody hell, that didn't take long. (-1)
- Awww, I like how he bonds with his son after a slightly rocky start. (+2)
- Smashing the magic mirror. Douche move, Jack. (-1)
- I hate how the promo spoiled the mirror smash, too. Wait, can I really take points off for something the promo did? Don't be stupid.
- A ponderous, reflective Jack stares out at the ocean (best shot of the epsiode by the way) and finally begins to rediscover his true purpose. And this time, for real. (+1)
Hurley
- Hurley was the true hero of this episode. Standing up to Dogen in particular was awesome. "I'm a candidate and I can do what I want." (+1)
- Jacob "just appears whenever he wants like Obi-Wan Kenobi". Hurley has a real knack for saying it like it is in real person terms. And the closet Star Wars nerd in me dug the reference. (+1)
- Considering he's the only one who can talk to Jacob, I'd say he's a pretty key character right now. (+1)
Kate
- Other than Jack telling her about Claire it was a rather superfluous appearance, but sexy Kate holding a gun gets me hot. (+1)
Sayid
- Also superfluous, but it set up a future confrontation with Dogen.
Miles
- Reduced to the endless monotony of Os and Xs, (they don't call it tic tac toe where I'm from) a game where you'd have to be a moron or 3 years old to lose. Poor Miles.
Claire
- I like crazy Claire. She turns real badass when she smacks Justin in the leg. Back in S1, Claire would have been the least likely person ever to be a badass/villainess character. (+2)
- So Claire was abducted and escaped? I don't think I should give points for that because it seems pretty damn easy to escape those temple guys. I wouldn't be surprised if their security is an unguarded door that says "No escaping, please".
- Who the hell does she think she is threatening Kate? She walked off in the middle of the jungle, so you ain't got no right to threaten the girl who actually took care of your kid, honey! Wow, that sounded like a sassy Jerry Springer audience member. I am sorry. (+1)
Jin
- Jin basically sits immobilised and lies his ass off, going through the fucking scare of his life as someone he used to call friend liberally swings an axe around. (-1)
Flocke
- His ending cameo was less of a "ZOMG!" reveal and more of a "Oh, yeah? I kind of figured that out anyway". I suggest they rename the "dramatic horn" (we know what it's really called) the "horn of indifference" if there are more reveals of this calibre. (-1)
1. Sawyer - 12
2. Hurley - 11 (+3)
3. Flocke - 9 (-1)
4. Sayid - 7 (0)
5. Locke - 7
6. Jack - 6 (+1)
7. Kate - 5 (+1)
8. Ilana - 3
9. Desmond - 2
10. Ben - 2
11. Frank - 2
12. Jin - 1 (-1)
13. Miles - 1 (0)
14. Sun - 1
15. Claire - 1 (+1)
16. Richard - -1
Thursday, 18 March 2010
Character notes: The Substitute
Wow, this is so so late. Luckily it was short on account of few characters appearing. I’ll do the next one much quicker.
Locke
-Locke’s alt-life has still been a series of fails:
Getting out of car fail.
Opening ramp fail
Keeping job fail
But it’s endearing, so it’s worth + points. (+1)
- Hey he’s marrying Helen. Always great to see Katey Segal on LOST. (+1)
- Personal growth success for Locke, as he decides he doesn’t need fixing. *sob* (+1)
- Heh, teacher Locke. I’d take Locke’s class on the human reproductive system. (+1)
- I enjoyed the shot of the bech crab on his head.
- A whopping four people attended his burial. Ilana and Frank, who have never met Locke. Sun, who has had by my count 1 major interaction with him (Sun’s garden scene in And Found, trivia fans). Ben, the guy who killed him. Lamest funeral ever. (-1)
Flocke
- I liked the smokeyvision camera. Very cool. (+1)
- How fucking insane is it that we’ve got the stage where the smoke monster is having visions? (+1)
- I loved his speech about how he used to be human and have human emotions. (+1)
- Flocke has a talent for skimming stones. Is there anything he can't do? (+1)
- Flocke criticising Jacob for being manipulative. Isn’t that exactly what he’s been doing with Ben and others? Hmmm. (-1)
- He saved Sawyer from splattering on the rocks and being seagull food, and seems to have won his trust by the end. He is starting to look like a legitimate alternative, given that he's at least willing to give answers. (+1)
Hurley
Hurley is such a nice guy! He doesn’t care that Locke nearly damaged his car and offers him a new job. I realised I hate his sideburns though. (+1)
Sawyer
- I'm not liking his current living conditions. Drunk, barely dressed, looking all grubby. (+1)
- He's sharp enough to figure out Locke isn't Locke so early, but seems a little too keen to follow mysterious guy. (-1)
- Dude, SPOILER ALERT for Of Mice And Men! I haven't read that book yet, you dick. But it's hard to stay mad at him when he looks that cool with a gun, did address my last point, and it was a nice throwback to season 3. (+1)
Richard
- Looks like he's letting Flocke piss all over him. Tied up in a bag - not so awesome. (-1)
- His conversation with Sawyer was not his finest moment either. Looks like he shit his pants and runs away like a sissy. (-1)
Ben
- His speech at Locke’s funeral made me laugh. A refreshingly rare moment of honesty. (+1)
...Yet didn’t admit to killing Jacob, probably trying to avoid Ilana’s wrath. (-1)
- Teacher Ben! Wow, he sure does love to talk about coffee. And he’s BFFs with Locke again. (+1)
Frank
Frank is often just an observer, but always has some choice lines (“weirdest damn funeral I‘ve ever been to”) (+1)
Ilana
Aww, crying over Jacob made me feel bad for her a little. I hope to see more about what kind of relationship they have soon. She also gave some useful info about Locke not being able to change form. Why, or how she knows this, is anyone's guess. (+1)
Sun
- Did she do anything? Oh, she suggested they bury Locke, I think. But waaaait..that just slowed them down. Then again, they can get to the beach camp in an instant nowadays, so not really. (+1)
1. Sawyer - 12 (+1)
2. Flocke - 10 (+4)
3. Hurley - 8 (+1)
4. Sayid - 7
5. Locke - 7 (+3)
6. Jack - 5
7. Kate - 4
8. Ilana - 3 (+1)
9. Desmond - 2
10. Jin - 2
11. Frank - 2 (+1)
12. Ben - 2 (+2)
13. Miles - 1
14. Sun - 1 (+1)
15. Claire - 0
16. Richard - -1 (-2)
Locke
-Locke’s alt-life has still been a series of fails:
Getting out of car fail.
Opening ramp fail
Keeping job fail
But it’s endearing, so it’s worth + points. (+1)
- Hey he’s marrying Helen. Always great to see Katey Segal on LOST. (+1)
- Personal growth success for Locke, as he decides he doesn’t need fixing. *sob* (+1)
- Heh, teacher Locke. I’d take Locke’s class on the human reproductive system. (+1)
- I enjoyed the shot of the bech crab on his head.
- A whopping four people attended his burial. Ilana and Frank, who have never met Locke. Sun, who has had by my count 1 major interaction with him (Sun’s garden scene in And Found, trivia fans). Ben, the guy who killed him. Lamest funeral ever. (-1)
Flocke
- I liked the smokeyvision camera. Very cool. (+1)
- How fucking insane is it that we’ve got the stage where the smoke monster is having visions? (+1)
- I loved his speech about how he used to be human and have human emotions. (+1)
- Flocke has a talent for skimming stones. Is there anything he can't do? (+1)
- Flocke criticising Jacob for being manipulative. Isn’t that exactly what he’s been doing with Ben and others? Hmmm. (-1)
- He saved Sawyer from splattering on the rocks and being seagull food, and seems to have won his trust by the end. He is starting to look like a legitimate alternative, given that he's at least willing to give answers. (+1)
Hurley
Hurley is such a nice guy! He doesn’t care that Locke nearly damaged his car and offers him a new job. I realised I hate his sideburns though. (+1)
Sawyer
- I'm not liking his current living conditions. Drunk, barely dressed, looking all grubby. (+1)
- He's sharp enough to figure out Locke isn't Locke so early, but seems a little too keen to follow mysterious guy. (-1)
- Dude, SPOILER ALERT for Of Mice And Men! I haven't read that book yet, you dick. But it's hard to stay mad at him when he looks that cool with a gun, did address my last point, and it was a nice throwback to season 3. (+1)
Richard
- Looks like he's letting Flocke piss all over him. Tied up in a bag - not so awesome. (-1)
- His conversation with Sawyer was not his finest moment either. Looks like he shit his pants and runs away like a sissy. (-1)
Ben
- His speech at Locke’s funeral made me laugh. A refreshingly rare moment of honesty. (+1)
...Yet didn’t admit to killing Jacob, probably trying to avoid Ilana’s wrath. (-1)
- Teacher Ben! Wow, he sure does love to talk about coffee. And he’s BFFs with Locke again. (+1)
Frank
Frank is often just an observer, but always has some choice lines (“weirdest damn funeral I‘ve ever been to”) (+1)
Ilana
Aww, crying over Jacob made me feel bad for her a little. I hope to see more about what kind of relationship they have soon. She also gave some useful info about Locke not being able to change form. Why, or how she knows this, is anyone's guess. (+1)
Sun
- Did she do anything? Oh, she suggested they bury Locke, I think. But waaaait..that just slowed them down. Then again, they can get to the beach camp in an instant nowadays, so not really. (+1)
1. Sawyer - 12 (+1)
2. Flocke - 10 (+4)
3. Hurley - 8 (+1)
4. Sayid - 7
5. Locke - 7 (+3)
6. Jack - 5
7. Kate - 4
8. Ilana - 3 (+1)
9. Desmond - 2
10. Jin - 2
11. Frank - 2 (+1)
12. Ben - 2 (+2)
13. Miles - 1
14. Sun - 1 (+1)
15. Claire - 0
16. Richard - -1 (-2)
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