Wednesday, 10 November 2010

Sullen Girl, Part 1

If you think the Lost board is dramatic now, you should've seen it back in 2007. The user known as Sullen Girl, aka Lauren, was probably the craziest person to ever post on the Lost board, and that is no small achievement.

Some background info: Sullen Girl got into fights with people a lot. I don't remember why. She was kinda very sensitive, and weird. A troll Named BrucieB found her annoying enough to constantly harass, and she was very easy to provoke. Somehow, Brucie got hold of her phone number and other personal details and shared it with Jaytrix. Sullen tried to call his bluff and ended up learning to be careful what you wish for, as Jaytrix did indeed post them on request.

At times, I kinda felt sorry for her, as I don't think she was a bad person, just really really difficult. (and dumb, too - I once saw her start a thread on the Soapbox asking "Has anyone ever mimicked you?", and when someone inevitably copied her thread, she was confused enough to ask the Help board to explain why her post came up under someone else's name and whether it was a glitch or not). This is the thread where I think most people lost sympathy for her, when she attacked one of the nicest posters on the board for no reason., and shit really hit the fan not long after this.

Original post date: October 15th 2007

Sullen Girl
Honesty Brucie, there's nothing more you can do to me now.
So thanks for letting me stay on the board sweetie. *kiss*

You two should hook up.

The Jaytrix Reloaded
My name is Lauren. I need everyone's attention. I am a drama queen. *kiss*

Sullen Girl

The Jaytrix Reloaded
Bitch, half the posts on here are yours. Not like we have to go out of our way to read you pathetic ramblings.

Sullen Girl
Why are you even talking to me? I don't like you. You have no mind of your own. Please go away unless you are going to say something of substance instead of kissing trolls asses.

The Jaytrix Reloaded
Please go away unless you are going to say something of substance
Uh...Do as I say, not as I do...?

Why did you start another thread?

Sullen Girl
Yes, poor sweet sugar, she's so nice to everyone! NOT!!!! She makes stuff up to get attention.

EDIT: Are you gonna have another temper tantrum dear?

The Jaytrix Reloaded
She makes stuff up to get attention.
Uh...Do as I say, not as I do...?

You are the biggest *beep* attention whore I've ever seen, and I've been in the presence of Paris Hilton in a club.

You have? What was that like? And did you wash your hands really well afterward?

LMAO....meltdown no 2 in almost as many weeks. Your act got boring a long time ago. You're a drama troll and a sh't one at that. That's worse than any other troll I've ever seen here.

Sullen Girl
Jaytrix find someone to obsess over that you actually know.

The Jaytrix Reloaded
Uh...Do as I say, not as I do...? How many threads have you started about brucie?

Do YOU actually KNOW anyone on here??? You wonder why no one likes you? Youre doing it right now!

Sullen Girl
Dani *beep* you!!! Go join the sheep. These people posted my address and phone number. Why would I not be pissed off? Go and take care of your damn children b itch.

I don't need a mother. I have my own. Maybe you should get offline for once and take care of your own kids. Damn I'm letting it all out now! 

Some people do like me on here or I wouldn't be here. And why do you care if anyone likes me. Do you actually know anyone on here? I don't care if I irritate you since you obviously get irritated very easily. I feel bad for your kids.

The Jaytrix Reloaded
Well, none of these alleged people are jumping to your defense. If you don't care if anyone doesn't like you -- WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT OF THIS THREAD?

Whoa whoa whoa. OK, PM time Lauren.

Sullen Girl
pmed you back. Even though everyone pretends to like me.

You need to think before you type... Dani barely said one word to you and this is how you reply? Talk about disrespectful.

Sullen Girl
Sugar get a *beep* life and stop pouncing on people online that you don't know. I don't give a *beep* about Dani or you. You guys are both sheep and you both need to think before you type. These people posted my personal info and everyone is criticizing me!!! I have a right to be pissed off.

The Jaytrix Reloaded
get a *beep* life and stop pouncing on people online that you don't know.
I don't give a *beep* about Dani or you. You guys are both sheep and you both need to think before you type.

F'ck you whore. I would love to see you get bitch slapped by any of the Lost board ladies. You're f'cking scum.

My kids are in bed thankyou very much. And I do not sit well with being called a bitch. Everyone on here just "pretends" to be nice to you.

The ole saying, what walks and talks like a loon.....

Sullen Girl
No actually they do not. Do you not realize that people posted my personal info? What would you do if they did that to you? I shouldn't have called you a b itch but why are you acting like this? I never even did anything to you.

EDIT: I may be a little crazy but at least I admit what I am.

The Jaytrix Reloaded
Do you not realize that people posted my personal info?
After you asked them to, you fcked up bitch!

I shouldn't have called you a b itch but why are you acting like this? I never even did anything to you
That first sentence, contradicting the second, is the perfect example of what a psycho bitch you are.

Why the f'ck would you say something like that to Daisy? She'd never hurt a fly. F'CK. YOU.

Okay, you never did anything to me personally. But for I dont know how many months it's been that I hav'nt said anything to you. But there comes a point when enough is enough. And be a mom to four kids, you have a hell of a lot of patience. We all come here to talk with friends and have a good time, but instead we have to read 100 posts about, brucie did this or what the hell ever. By keep talking about it and not LETTING IT GO your making yourself a target. Then you come on here 3 days later and expect everyone to be your best friend. Not gonna happen.


Ok Lauren I have been trying to stay out of this moronic High School drama, but I think you just went too far!! WTF!!


Thanks to Upsadaisy for providing this!

Wednesday, 13 October 2010

Lost board Encyclopedia

This poster once had a classic exchange with Whiteshadow00

ABUMCHUCK: I'm sick of newbies thinking they're regulars
WHITESHADOW00: Who the hell are you?
ABUMCHUCK: i'm abumchuck cant you f0cking read?

Andrew Kropp
An IMDb poster who posts attention-seeking threads with pictures of himself in, usually eating pizza. He also starts threads about needing a girlfriend, hits on the women of the board, and has bad grammar. People find his actions amusing in a cringeworthy way, and thus has gained a cult status similar to Daniel Cribb. Cribb and Kropp are often referred to as mortal enemies, similar to Jacob and Esau.

Auntie Dena put her photo in the LOST family album, but for a long period of time no-one had ever seen her post, and thus didn’t know who she was. It became a running joke on the board to make references to her, as if we knew who she was.

Poster who expressed his disgust at the board, with his poor English and grammar resulting in several amusing quotes. He accused posters of "Vandalising imdb property" and his final message was "After muh consideration i have decide that this board is too ridiculous for me. people are quoting things and being silly/rude/lies."

Beep Beep, Richie
Quote from the movie "IT", used on anyone who tries to swear and is blocked by the profanity filter. Started by BadRobot22.

Starter of the “Monster??? SPOILERS” thread. He came to the board asking what the monster was, got a bunch of sarcastic posts and got frustrated by it. Responsible for the following quotes:

why are u all like this??? ive posted on many boards on imdb and ive never had responses like this....we're here to help eachother out
I figured as much…so wut is it?
time.....i lack it...i have a demanding important job
Wutever thanks for nothing
Is it the dog?

Line from “The Hills Have Eyes” remake, starring Emilie De Ravin. Started by Ben The Ripper

Bump for the coolest new poster around
The "coolest new poster" was Whore-Hay, who had all his threads bumped at the same time by a troll. Darkfire adopted it as his catchphrase as a bit, before others caught on. It's used mostly when bumping a thread.

This meme is making fun of an obscure line from the episode “White Rabbit” - where the bully who hits Jack shouts “Shoulda stayed down, Chack” - mispronouncing Jack's name. Started by WhiteShadow00.

Clicked on the link and nothing happened
Used on anyone who posted a link without URL markup. The most famous usage was an exchange involving Apzo-Boi and Candall, where after Candall was told to copy and paste he exclaimed he had ran out of paste.

Cue Gay Ass Trombone
Describes the trombone noise on the LOST soundtrack used on dramatic reveals. Originally written by Funkyant during his “Typical LOST episode” (see Funkyant)

DanielCribb123 was just some random guy who made a couple of threads about his aspirations of becoming a regular. Therefore, it became a running joke to mention DanielCribb123 whenever someone asked who the regulars were. Over time, the joke kept going and got more and more exaggerated.

The following are DanielCribb123 quotes:

What is it? Who has it? And what is it?
LOST has an ideal amount of seriousness
I assumed it was where you put a dildo
I can't remember but I know it's in my head somewhere
I’m now going anyway, I think I’ve proven I was right
But what are you going to do? So I guess I’ll just keep my mouth shut and stop complaining – but I’ll be thinking it, boy will I be thinking it

DarkUFO being in a wheelchair
It was a joke rumour, originally started by Sam Toomey and perpetuated by, amongst others, Discuss Is Not De Way. It’s false, but people like to pretend it’s true.

It has been conclusively depicted that dcjcom is the most magniloquent, vexatious affiliate of the IMDb Lost (2004) communique directorate. His tidings reek of misconception, misinterpretation, and unadulterated stupefaction. It has been conjectured that dcjcom constructs his essays utilizing the Microsoft Phrase Central Processing Unit's interchangeability raison d'ĂȘtre, which results in his contributions subsisting, verily, of mangled senseless garbage.
[written by SolarisDeschain]

Definitely can't watch this anymore
A quote from actor Alan Dale, who claims he got sick of watching LOST. From Digital Spy:

"It went through a lull in scripts in the third season. At that point I felt like I had watched them wandering in a line through the forests, a bit sweaty, for the 1,000th time. I thought 'I can't watch this anymore'. Then, out of the bushes, came a black cloud, which grabbed a black man and threw him to the ground, and I thought 'I definitely can't watch this anymore'."

Family photo / album

Cornchunk has created two family photos, a photoshopped image of the board member's pictures combined with the LOST characters.
Photo 1:
Photo 2:
Photo 3 (produced by Tim-Levier):

There is also a LOST family album, ran and maintained by Candall.

Photo submissions to the album should be sent to Candall via PM.

Fanatic About Film
This moron first made a complete douche out of himself when he refused to read the "FAQ" because he didn't like being told what to do. Any thread he posts on, and argument is sure to follow. His biggest display of idiocy was the aggression he displayed towards ZBRS for "spoiling" Lost Via Domus for him, after telling him there were Banyan trees in the game. This took place on the modern classic, "Graphics card for Lost Via Domus". If you see him around, make sure to ask him if he's played the game yet.

Fortey's petition to cancel LOST
A fake petition memorable for the angry responses it got from people who didn't realise he was joking.

Flowerlord quotes
Flowerlord rarely says anything other than the following four sentences:

It makes sense
It does, doesn't it?
Sometimes I wonder
That's absurd

Frequently repeated quotes
"Black chick in her 50's?" (Sawyer talking about Rose, 2x4 Everybody Hates Hugo)
"The steam opens up my pores" (Locke, 2x16 The Whole Truth)
"Then you don't get any coffee" (Ben, 3x1 A Tale Of Two Cities)
"Well ain't that convenient" (Sawyer, 3x16 One Of Us)
"Who? Who's Naomi?" (Penny, 3x22 Through The Looking Glass)
"I collect soil samples" (Miles, 4x2 Confirmed Dead)
"I was just on a ferris wheel" (Minkowski, 4x5 The Constant)
"Don't Be Absurd" (Chang, 5x1 Because You Left)
"Watch your cartoons, Goober" (Kate, 5x1 Because You Left)

A troll who declared that LOST sucks. He wrote what he called a typical LOST episode:


Correct genders of posters that are often got wrong

AmishVomitCake - Female
Bish-Fiscuit - Male
Bruce Campbell For Lost - Female
Dharmacide - Female
Jaskmackey - Female
Kate Dammit Run - Male
Nana - Male
Rose Beaver - Male
Sawyer90 - Male
ShinyGreenApple - Female

Good lostigating
Originated from Themisfitishere who described himself as the world's best lostigator. It means to investigate LOST.

Grand bowler
Used mainly by ZeBlackRockSalesman and BadRobot22 whist stalking Capitaine Gault. Explained by the man himself:

"I think Capitaine Gault was using a different name while posting on the Soapbox board. ZeBlackRockSalesman and others, having found out it was Capitaine, kept asking him about the actor Grant Bowler and the character of Captain Gault. Capitaine, pretending to be someone else, feigned ignorance - saying "why do people keep asking me if I'm a grand bowler?" This backfired on him like crazy as people actually started asking him "are you a grand bowler?" after that. "

Other Gault-related running jokes include: Suicide threats, Jeans (a type of pants)

Guam craze of 09
It followed the episode "316", in which Frank Lapidus tells Jack "We're not going to Guam, are we?". The line was talked about a lot, and led to lots of Guam threads. Lots of people changed their names to something Guam-related: SlowGuamsIV, Guamber Tiffany, Richard-Alpert-Is-Guam, GuamManufacturedRobot, Timetravelling Guam Key, The Ballad Of Guam, SimplyGuamy and many more.

Ha, oh boy you're gonna be in for a ride with that username lol...
Ben the Ripper originally posted it describing the name of Kevinology (who he was anticipating would be mistaken for the troll Kevin) – when the statement got repeated several times on the same thread, it became a meme

Horrible eyes
From the original statement - "I think Ben was about to cry when Widmore said he had horrible eyes" (a reference to a Widmore line in "The Shape Of Things To Come") - a lot variations emerged, such as "I think Daniel was about to cry when Widmore said he had horrible ties".

It makes sense
Started by Flowerlord – a generic response which was an excuse to bump a thread.

Is tonight’s episode a re-run?
Weekly thread started by Ankiel, originally satirising the frequency of which these threads came up back when LOST had an on-off schedule.

Jesus, my grapefruit...

Refers to a thread once started by Nana - "Jesus, my grapefruit, is squirting everywhere". Jaskmackey replied "You named your grapefruit Jesus?", and an instant classic was born. The thread was referenced and imitated many times.

Troll obsessed with Claire In Disguise. Made several rape threats about her, and was even sent to jail for a week. Had multiple accounts, and for a while all new users were accused of being Kevin.

Lost Awards

Troll who would hand out “awards” to people he deemed stupid and flame them in ALLCAPS.

Michael black: confirmed

Posted by Kate Dammit Run parodying a thread about the news that Michael was back for season 4.

Most show ever
Started by Necriid, a troll who intended to create a deliberately nonsensical statement / question.

MS Paint artwork
Talented cartoonist Bruce Campbell For LOST has drawn several masterpieces on MS Paint. Her drawings include witty depictions of various usernames.

The work of the board’s other resident artist, DEFINITIVEexplanation, who draws helpful and/or hilarious diagrams which clarify LOST plot points, can be viewed here:

My God, Kate is so beautiful
This was first posted by Thesidewinder39 after "Left Behind". The guy was gushing over how stunningly attractive Evangeline Lilly was, but most posters found his thread funny. A whole flurry of parodies soon emerged, such as "My God, the smoke monster is so beautiful".

A troll who often gives his own unique reviews of LOST, similar to Themisfitishere. Running jokes include Locke's addiction to oranges, the Monster being called Blu-ray and his use of the word "relephant". His catchphrase is "Serious answers only please".

Post 69
Miss Morticia and Giraffe Monster like to claim the 69th reply on a thread because of the numbers sexual connotations.

Poster-specific catchphrases
Catchphrases from posters not covered in any other section:

"Do you see?" - Rose Beaver
"Gentle bump for anyone who may have missed it" - DarkUFO
"Get AIDs and die" - BigSexy8Track
"Spoilers, oh my God" - Bish-Fiscuit
"Heh. I am rather enjoying this" - Moonstearneo

A variation on Sayid's line from "Confidence Man" - "We don't have bamboo in Iraq, but we do have something similar: reeds". Meme started by Eccohawk.

Reporting monkey
Term that describes the user who repeatedly reports off-topic threads. Term coined by Cornchunk. Immortalised in drawing by Candall.

Ruby Calaber X
Ruby Calaber started several memorable threads, such as "My girlfriend and I like to watch LOST together"
(His own imitation of another user who posted the same topic seriously)

He also allegedly attempted suicide after the death of Ana-Lucia leaving behind an amusing note.

Sayid’s replacement
Originally a joke thread which had a title about Sayid being replaced by Eddie Murphy only to link to a story about Banana Twinkies. Several dumb newbies took the story seriously and started duplicate threads asking whether it was true.

Shirtless Sawyer
Started by Ankiel. Used as a nonsense response to threads not deemed worthy of a proper reply. Variations include: Mopless Kevin, Lifeless Locke, Waltless Michael, Caneless Nestor

Slumdog Purge
An epic event that took place on the night of Slumdog Millionaire's Oscar win. Instigated by Blacademic, Participants included Sportsman, Whysohood, NYCub, bzztfields, Third Island, Subatomic, AdnanZ, Walter Eagle, Pyram1dhead, LostInDeadwood, Shallowbay, Howdy464, theyank and others, who decided to flood the board with LOST-related topics. Repurcussions included deleted posting histories and heavy posting quotas (as severe as 1 hour in the case of Sportsman). Even Bish-Fiscuit was punished, despite his only thread being an attempt to stop it. He left the board for a bit upset, which caused several others to worry about him. The participants maintain their antics were harmless compared to that of the real trolls, and were actually improving the board.

Sullen Girl
User described by many as a drama queen, who had a temper tantrum after being left off a list of regulars. Had several meltdowns - one when she was left off a list of regulars, another when her personal information got posted on the board.

Talk Like A Pirate Day name changes
On September 19 the board members change their name to something pirate-themed to mark this important national day. This was first brought to the board's attention by Kounebone.

Thanks in advance
The statement Ankiel would write in her “Is Tonight’s Episode A Re-run?” thread. Usually used on a question that isn’t serious.

Other Ankiel catchphrases include "Thanks for stopping by" and "How are things on the X board?"

A long-running troll who is a parody of fans who come up with daft theories. His notable traits include bad grammar, random capitalisation and major inaccuracies with even the simplest LOST facts. Most of Themisfitishere's humour comes from taking screencaps and misinterpreting them or forming an outlandish theory over something which is simply a prop error.

To the extreme
A series of threads started by Rod Blondel, the original being "Kate is TO THE EXTREME!!" The thread became an instant classic and has been imitated many times.

With Cane being cancelled, Nestor Carbonell should be free for LOST
This was a statement first made by a poster using odd punctuation, which resulted in the same statement being repeated with a slightly different variation each time. Eventually, it became a catchphrase.

Why didn’t Charlie swim out the window?

After season three finished, this question was asked repeatedly much to the annoyance of regulars.

Insane-Romantic made a double post on the subject beginning with “I expect this has been brought up before but it’s bugging me” which embodied the topic so much, people kept repeating it again and again.

This one was first used by z138102. Irritated by the "clicked on the link but nothing happened" responses (see above) his thread was getting, he started a sarcastic thread called "How to use a URL", where he wrote: "Now press the "enter" or "return" key on your keyboard. Viola!" It's always funny to see someone trying to be a smartass unintentionally do something stupid, so needless to say people seized it and it became a meme.

Sub-meme: "Is this a subtle reference to Batman?" - The original topic that resulted in his outburst. He thought Locke's backgammon pieces were like Two Face's coin.

You probably don't know how good it is compared to me
Quote from The Eyeland, who professed to be a bigger LOST fan than Tuuls.

Zid quotes
Just keep my name out of your cripple fingers when you type on your pathetic windows 95 keyboard!
And you yet haven't answer my question, is it true?
^ message ignore. I wonder what that poser is saying? *beep* gaylord distorted bastard!
some of yout thought I was a normal nice guy, and others think I'm a nut sack.
That's perpotrous! I never concurred such convoluted lie. How dare you!
I for sure don't likou and most likely you whore of a mother doesn't like you either.
Either the OT is the most foolish person ever or he is just being stupid on prupose.
I'm a man of my world!
Wow! This Board Room Has Become Ellaboratively Grieving
Son't you have some studying to do, nerd?
I purposely said all those rolf quotes because I knew you dickwad "Regs" were going to quote them

Tuesday, 12 October 2010

LOST board mysteries: Auntiedena72

If you've ever visited the family album, you've seen the face of Auntiedena72. You will never have seen her post, though. You've probably heard the jokes - her obscurity was so famous, it became funny for a while to pretend she was the most active person here. We all figured she was someone who rarely posted, was there the day Candall first asked for submissions, and then disappeared, never to return. Everybody dreamed of one day meeting the mysterious Auntiedena72.

Then one day, it happened. Auntiedena72 came back to the LOST board. She posted a few times, seemed nice enough, and was slightly taken aback at how many fans she had.

Or so we thought.

A few months later it was revealed the Auntiedena72 who posted was a fake. It was actually the account of an old troll named hot-jok, who had changed his name for a prank. It was like finding out Santa was really your dad.

But here's the thing..the troll used her exact name. IMDb doesn't let you take the name of a user that has been already used. Therefore, there was nobody who had that name on IMDb, ever before.

So it was all a long con by a troll, right? Maybe not. Hot-jok claims he is not Auntiedena72, he just wanted to mimic her and was surprised as hell when he found he was able to use the exact ID.

Weird, right? So does Auntiedena72 exist at all? Well, it appears she does, at least in some form. Google Auntiedena72 and you find a public photobucket containing the picture used. She also has a Youtube account. In the age of internet anoymity, who is to say those accounts are even real, but it looks legit to me. No evidence she's ever been on IMDb at all, though.

So how did her photo get in the family album? I have not been able to talk to Candall about this, as he is rarely online anymore. It would be interesting to hear what he has to say.


* Hot-jok is fucking with us. Auntiedena72 is just some poor girl with a public photobucket account, and hot-jok submitted her photo for a joke. Or, someone else did and he capitalized on it. It's possible. He's not the most trustworthy member of the board. But it seems like an awfully elaborate, not to mention pointless, prank.

* Candall entered Auntiedena72's name wrong. Maybe it was Auntiedena_72, or Auntie_Dena72. But then why is her photobucket and Youtube account name the same way as the album?

*Auntiedena72 is Candall's real aunt. Amusing, but not likely to be true.


The fact that nobody really knows the real story behind Auntiedena72 is what made her such a myth in the first place. There's no one theory that seems to account for everything. So, we're left asking the same question we were when we first saw her picture in the album...

Who are you, Auntiedena72?

Sunday, 6 June 2010

Poster me! do me!

The recent re-emergence of the troll with many names (Hot-Jok, AuntieDena72, Rocker65, BringingDownTheBarracks) reminded me of one of his most famous troll threads. The thread was an absolute riot. It reached 400 posts in a matter of hours, mostly off-topic banter, but I didn't have the space to save them all.


This board is the most pathetic thing I've ever seen

I'm not suggesting that talking about Lost on a message board is bad. Hell, I don't even care about off topics that much. But you guys who are here every *beep* day! Seriously what the *beep*?
And you talk about the same stuff and make the same stupid jokes!

Hey, I know, I'll ask a question, and then thank people in advance!!!
Hahah that's really funny!!

Or, I'll quote some stupid random line from Lost and call it a meme!! WOw we are the kings of comedy!

This place is so predictable. Here's how the rest of the responses will go.

Flowerlord: Som etime sIwonder

Ze Salesman (or whatever retarded name he is this week): beep beep Richie

Tuuls: Just don't come here then! Oh by the way anyone want to talk about my broken ankle??

BishFiscuit: [sad5]

Ankiel: What's new on the (insert board I may have visited once before here) board? (OMG THAT'S SUCH A FUNNY COMEBACK!!!)

Nana: I don't want to talk about this, instead I want to ask some personal question to everyone on the board and label it OT, because I'm DYING to here everyone's opinion!!

Cornchunk: Wow! Ankiel answered! This is the best day of my life!

Ze Salesman (again): Don't you have something to mop up?

Ben the Ripper: To get everyone's attention, I'm going to call you fat and threaten to murder you! That will get the board to give me the love I so desperately crave!

srstone: This thread is funny, but enough about you. Let's talk about all the sports teams I like!

Steak: I don't know my son's name so I'll just call him the boy!

MissMorticia: I can't wait to get to post 69 and flaunt my amazing intellect to everyone!

QOS: A couple of guys jumped Mark Silverman (HAHAHAHA I LOVE THIS QUOTE! BECAUSE JACK SAID IT TO HIS DAD!)

Some random wannabe poster: Shoulda Stayed Down Chack!!

Rose_Beaver: That's a funny response because Jack sounds like Chack! Do you SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE????

And so forth....

Ben The Ripper
You are fat and I want to murder you. Give me the love I so desperately crave.

cool story bro

SuperN Lostie
original, dude.
not that it matters, but i'm pretty sure most of us have menial boring day jobs which allows us to post on msg boards for at least 8 hours straight. one of those people is me. do you seeeeeeeeeeeeeee? Thanks in Advance.

Bitchez McSteve
Good post. Now I am just curious as to who you're a sock puppet of, ya know? Since you were too scared to post this on your regular account.

Is that you, Sugar?

Bruce Campbell For Lost
There's nothing wrong with any of that.

Sock account: kudos, sir.
Not a sock account: scary lurker

Shoulda stayed down Chack!

You seem to know us pretty well.

I definitely think this is a sock. Probably someone who wishes they were noticed more often and changed their account status or something to this name.
But enough about this thread. How about the victories for the Celtics and Bruins last night??

Where the f'ck is ankiel!!!???!?!

This begs the question of how you know all of this information about the posters. The only explanation is that you spend way too much time on this board, which makes you a huge hypocrite. So, please, have a nice day, and shut the hell up.

You seem to know everyone and how they operate pretty well, and yet you left me off! Screw you buddy, I'm a vital cog here probably! Also, watch my movies, you stupid bastards!

I know my son's name.
It's Austin.

Bitchez McSteve
I won't lie, his shout-out to you made me lol.

Me too.
I usually don't get mentioned in these rants.

Alot of people didn't get their fiber this morning at all.

You guys are so pathetic. I've been lurking and posting under other ids for years. Who's? That doesn't matter now. They have been ignored for years so why should you care. All I can say is that I can keep going. I can give common responses for almost everyone here.

Bruce Campbell For LOST
Do me!

Knowing you, that post has nothing to do with the subject of the thread. You just always need to say it.

Bruce Campbell For LOST
No, that's not me. That sucked. Try again.

Ok, how about "I'm a girl but I talk about things like boobies, and farts and *beep* because it makes me sound hillarious!!!!!"

Bruce Campbell For LOST
No, that sucks, too.

You've obviously done your homework, son.

Don't you have something to mop up?

Giraffe Monster
Do me too!
I guess I could be credited alongside MissM.

generic squeegee
Wait, wait you've been lurking here for years, to the point where you know who everyone is and exactly what their responses would be to a creepy degree of accuracy, but we're the pathetic ones? Now I just feel bad for you. But you still forgot me, so drink a bucket of AIDS.

Quote:I can give common responses for almost everyone here.

Cool! Me, next! Me, next!

Quote: I've been lurking and posting under other ids for years.

...and we're the pathetic ones?

Why does my meme have to be said by some random wannabe poster?

If the shoe fits......


Oh cue gay ass trombone. That's a good one!
How many of you are fantasizing about that daniel cribb kid right now?
Oh wait! Nevermind! Let's create a Boone meme instead! That will be so fun!
But wait we can't we don't have memes in Iraq we have reeds!!!!!!!!!!
Oh by teh way IT MAKES SENSE!!!!!!!!1


Ben The Ripper
Oh my guam, you're just like us! ^__^


Rocker, why are you so angry?

He's a regular Freddie Wilson, that one.

elegant Audrey
If that's a veiled criticism at me, I won't hear it and I won't respond to it.

See that link called "Ignore this User" ?
Try it, you'll like it.

You're not as observant as you think. I only say Beep Beep, Richie if someone says *beep*.

Don't you have something to mop up?

What's it look like we're doing? We're shooting things.

I just realized I never even mentioned the pregnant Lesbian. She sucks too

You also forgot to mention the poster who tried to start some threads awhile ago in hopes of being noticed. Then got extremely sad about it when no one cared and decided to start a mean thread to get attention.

Who's the pregnant lesbian?

Bruce Campbell For LOST
I think he meant ZigMa, but she's not pregnant or lesbian.

Bitchez McSteve
Are we sure?

Val, thanks for thinkin' of me. And Steve. Eat schit and die.

generic squeegee
So are you the pregnant lesbian? I'm so confused. And hurt. Guy didn't even answer my simple question. I hope it burns when he pees.

Definitely NOT me.

Bitchez McSteve

No I mean that chick who got pregnant when she cheated on her girlfriend with a dude.
Then she told everyone all about it.

Bitchez McSteve
I don't think Jaytrix had a girlfriend

I wouldn't have thought he had the proper equipment.

Bitchez McSteve
Have you kind of turned into a lurker, ol' buddy ol' pal?

Meh, I still visit here often enough but don't post as much. I haven't been on all weekend, I was busy watching Scotland get raped by Holland. :(

That sounds like a good orgy to me.

It wasn't. I felt rather ill afterwards. What's the point of orgies anyway? You're basically just multiplying the number of people you won't be able to look in the eye afterwards.

Bitchez McSteve
That sucks. How is Scotland looking for SA 2010?

Not too good, we have to win every game from now on. Sounds easy enough, except we have to play Holland again. If we don't qualify then my plans for visiting SA in 2010 will be dead in the water.

Bitchez McSteve
Oh you were gonna go ? That would be awesome.

It wasn't that bad. We got like 4 chances and 3 of them went in. We played nowhere near as good as we could play. Robben was uncatchable though.

I was waiting on you showing up. Yes, the Dutch players are class. But I thought Robben should have been sent off for that pathetic dive, then writhing around on the ground like he'd stood on a landmine. Also, we had an absolutely perfect goal disallowed. There was absolutely nothing wrong with it. Other than that, you were the better team.

Yes it was a clear goal, although the referee did blew his whistle when the ball was midway in the air. Still don't know what for. Don't think it would've made a difference, but it was kinda sucky for you guys. And yes, Robben is a diver, always been, although he's learning to control it now. Sometimes his old nature comes crawling up. He's such a great player if he doesn't dive.

Well I think our goal would have slowed play down and changed the game completely. Let's face it, 2-1 looks a lot more respectable than 3-0. Maybe Holland will do us a favour and destroy Norway?

I can't argue your general point, but some of those folks are good peoples IMHO. But i guess it's in the eye of the beholder.

General Point! [salutes]

us newbee's are always left out, but moma says i'll be pathetic someday!

This thread will officially be funny if Miss M gets post 69. It will seal the deal so to speak.

Giraffe Monster
Sorry, didn't happen!

It's okay. As long as one of you two get it. It's just that she was mentioned, specifically.

Miss Morticia
Honestly, when's the last time I even tried for a 69?

Geronimo Jackson Five
I'm not on your list? Eff you, OP.

Yeah, it hurt my feelings a little bit, too.

Aww, feeling left out?


Beep beep, Richie.

it makes sense

Geronimo Jackson Five
What's a PARDOY?

You want more impressions?? I got them!

MulderNScully: Hey everyone! I don't drink, but I make up for it by being obsessed with X-Files!

Geronimo Jackson Five: I just showed up recently, but I apparently used to post here years ago so that makes me so cool!!!

Candall: I think I'm so much smarter than anyone else here because I talk with such a high intellect!

All the girls here I didn't mention: If we talk about guy stuff, we can fit in at this board so much better!!

I talk how I talk, TheManFromTallahassee. Or is it Vincent Toomey? Either way, sorry you can't keep up.

Bitchez McSteve
Not TheManFromTallahassee, at least. He's this guy, and I don't think he would make a sock puppet to diss people, he's usually good at being a prick on his regular account. But who knows, this is the LOST board, anything's possible!!!!!111

Hes Our Robot
TheManFromTallahassee/Shadow seems quite unlikely to do this with a sock account, and certainly seems unlikely to feel that the board hasn't noticed him.

Yeah, you guys are right. Plus, he would have called me Papa Smurf or something. I'm pretty sure it's Sam/Vincent Toomey.

Because you're Communist?

Yes, but bear in mind that's only his opinion.

Bitchez McSteve
Do me... please, my god.

Margaery Tyrell
That's what she said.

I'm a pathetic detroit sports fan who likes the worst sports team ever put together! I say I make up for it by liking hockey, but when you're a fan of the worst sports team of all time you can't make up for *beep*

Bitchez McSteve
I love you

--- ---, Richie
(chat room shout out)

Quote: MulderNScully: Hey everyone! I don't drink, but I make up for it by being obsessed with X-Files!

Score! FYI, It's a lowercase ns. Only the 'M' is capitalized in my username.

That's about as funny as a screen door on a battleship.

Geronimo Jackson Five
^ On a submarine, ya dork!

Why am I never mentioned in a list? I've been posting on this board for something like 2 years now. I'm pathetic too!!! NOTICE ME GODDAMMIT!!!

Yoda, why you bein a playa hate-a?
You know that I must confront Lord Vader
But Luke, not ready are you
There's a city in the clouds where they're keepin my crew!

Geronimo Jackson Five
Knock 'em out the box, Luke... knock 'em out the box!

Hes Our Robot
Those guys should be ashame of their self for taking and having the time to write stupid joke. Also vandalizing IMDb property.


Oooo do me do me!

Hes Our Acolyte
Did you get forgotten too marcia?

The beautiful ones always get left behind

Hes Our Acolyte
Fine then! We'll start our own thread! With blackjack! And hookers! You know what, forget the blackjack!

Will there be punch & pie?

Yes, but there will not be any coffee.

Hes Our Acolyte

I have 5/8 of a lemon meringue pie at home, do you guys want some?

Do you have some sort of chart that tells you the exact fraction or something?

Thursday, 20 May 2010

Character notes: Ab Aeterno


- His giggle was adorable. The nonsense that spilled out of his mouth afterwards made him seem insane. (-1)
- It was actually ridiculously exciting just hearing the whoosh sound on Richard, to be honest. (+1)
- Can ride a horse. (+1)
- Killing the Doctor was a little stupid and contrived. (-1)
- His first few days on the Island are a real ordeal. He did well to survive. (+1)
- So a boar knocked the tool out of your hand? Use your feet, Richard! Use your feet! (-1)
- They keep repeating the words "hell" and the "devil", even before he reaches the Island, so I guess it's believeable Richard was suckered into believing that. "Isabella" tells him it's hell, which is why he believes it when Man In Black also tells him. You can't fault a man who just wants his wife and absolution. (+1)
- Recieves the drowning treatment from Jacob, in a scene reminiscent of Pellegrino's role in The Big Lebowski. (-1)
- The questions he asks Jacob were perfectly sensible. It's not often a character does that. (+1)
- Takes on a job Jacob gives him. He wants to live forever. Points for immortality. (+1)
- He does the right thing by standing by Jacob's side. Let's see him go kick some smoke-ass! (+1)
- The Isabella reunion was a very touching moment, and Nestor's acting throughout the whole episode was phenomenal. (+3)


- We first see him in his smoke form, where he does what he does best and saves Richard from the officers who intend to kill him. (+1)
- His manipulation of Richard, whilst unsuccessful, was a pretty good effort. This episode feels like a Greek myth for most of it. (+1)
- Most of his speech to Richard about not letting him talk was exactly the same as what Dogen told Sayid, which I thought was pretty cool.
- "see you around". "Sooner than you think" he says to Jacob. 1000 years is soon? (-1)
- Wasting perfectly good wine. (-1)
- It was supposed to be symbolic, doyyy. (+1)


- Got the first of three flashbacks in the episode, but hers was by far the lamest, as it was a small extension of a scene we've already seen, telling us info we already know. (-1)


- Being the medium with which to conduct Richard and Isabella's reunion was sweet, and one of the best uses of his power to date. (+1)
- Is this the first episode where he actually speaks Spanish? It was good to hear. (+1)


- Asks Hurley what he's doing when talking to Isabella. "It's nothing to do with you, Jack" he tells him. PWNed. (-1)


- Actually answered more questions than she asked this time. (+1)

Ben & Frank

Appeared in this episode, but did little except sit around a camp fire. This was very much a one man show.

1. Sawyer - 18
2. Flocke - 14 (+1)
3. Hurley - 12
4. Sayid - 10
5. Jack - 8 (-1)
6. Locke - 8
7. Ben - 8 (0)
8. Richard - 6 (+5)
9. Ilana - 5 (-1)
10. Kate - 5
11. Miles - 5
12. Claire - 4
13. Frank - 3 (0)
14. Desmond - 2
15. Sun - 1 (+1)
16. Jin - 0

Character notes: Recon


- Sawyer's getting laid...again. Sawyer's job is to sleep with suspect's wives? Where do I apply for his job? The police were listening in on him doing it and he still manages to perform admirably, so kudos. (+3)
- Whether you like Charlotte or not, having sex with two girls in one episode is pretty impressive. (+1)
- To apologise to Charlotte for kicking her out and acting like a jerk he shows up with a flower and some beer. After being rejected, he leaves the flower but keeps the beer. Priorities! (+1)
- Just because Locke has a good relationship with Cooper, doesn't mean he isn't still an asshole, as proved by Sawyer still being sans parents. His revenge is still on, just in a different form. (-1)
- Figures out Zoe is a fake after she says she has a boyfriend. Because that is pretty unbelievable. Because she isn't that pretty. Heh. (+1)
- Holds his own against Charles Widmore. "Take me to your leader" made me chuckle too. (+1)
- Is playing a pretty clever game by pitting Flocke and Widmore against eachother. Both think he's on their side and conning the other one. I guess that's why it's called Recon! Or not. (+1)
- They're taking a sub...what? Lamest cliffhanger ever. I must've missed the Sawyer flashback where he's a Naval commander. (-1)


- It was quite a surprise for poor Kate to see Claire attack her. Good to see them make up in the end though. (+1)
- Turns up in the flashsideways to interrupt Miles and Sawyer's bonding. What a bitch! (-1)


- Failed to do what half of the audience wanted...kill Kate. (-1)
- They hug it out in the end, though. Daww! (+1)


- His bitchslap on Claire was pretty epic. (+1)
- Admits to Sawyer he massacred the temple but somehow makes it seem reasonable. It must be Terry's calm demenour. (+1)
- Not much of a mastermind if Sawyer has to do all the work for him. (-1)
- Got a good heart-to-heart with Kate where he explains that even smoke monsters have mommy issues. It set up his flashback for later, more than anything. (+2)
- Thinks he has Sawyer's loyalty. He's wrong. (-1)


- Miles and Sawyer as partners was a great idea. Just like when they were both working security in '77. (+1)
- His Top Gun-esque relationship with Sawyer was a little gay, doncha think? Trying to get him to open up, acting offended and throwing a tantrum when he doesn't. And what's with the terrible blind dates he keeps setting him up on? (-1)
- Dispenses sage advice to Sawyer, amidst homosexual undertones. (+1)


- Is still on crutches, poor guy. This renders him a little useless this ep. (-1)


- Did nothing whilst Claire had a knife to Kate's throat. I don't care for apathetic Sayid. (-1)

1. Sawyer - 18 (+6)
2. Flocke - 13 (+2)
3. Hurley - 12
4. Sayid - 10 (-1)
5. Jack - 9
6. Locke - 8
7. Ben - 8
8. Ilana - 6
9. Kate - 5 (0)
10. Miles - 5 (+1)
11. Claire - 4 (0)
12. Frank - 3
13. Desmond - 2
14. Richard - 1
15. Jin - 0 (-1)
16. Sun - 0

Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Character notes: Dr Linus


- LOST valley high? Um, OK. Ben trying to be evil whilst dressed like a professor just doesn't do it for me. And his sidekick Arzt just adds to the embarrassment. (-1)
- "It's Dr Linus, actually". he sounds like Sidney Poitier from In The Heat OfThe Night. (+1)
- Now, Ben has a good relationship with his father. He gives him his oxygen to breathe, instead of taking it away. Yay for opposite land! (+1)
- Alex isn't Ben's daughter in this timeline, which makes his interest in her a little creepy. (-1)
- As many pointed out, the Principal's ultimatum is a weak one. Ben could simply just wait until after Alex gets into college to execute his plan. But that would negate the point of the episode, which was Ben realising his pursuit of power is meaningless.
- Does the scene where Ben drops his stick and pegs it strongly resemble a looney tunes cartoon or not?

- Ben's apology? Easily the best scene of season six. The previous times they've tried to get sympathy for Ben haven't done it for me, but that monologue is fucking heartbreaking. (+4)
- Ben did the right thing and got Alex her letter. He even sacrificed his parking space to placate that whiner, Arzt. Aww. (+1)


- Made it perfectly clear she had no plan whatsoever. Fail. (-1)
- I think people already guessed the fatherly connection, but it was hinted here again.
- "If anyone wants to find your husband, it's me" - awful scene with Sun. And if a character can look awful next to Sun, then buddy you're in real trouble. (-1)
- Crazy Ilana is hilarious, look at some of the faces she comes out with. But I do quite like the badass side to her. (+2)

- Looked quite sexy eating a mango. (+1)
- "I'll have you" - very sweet moment. (+1)


- "Uh ohh"..Miles doesn't hesistate to taunt Ben after dropping him in the shit. Funny stuff. (+1)
- Not only that, he later comes up to him offering him food on a banana leaf, haha. Ben's last-gasp attempt to get him to save his ass is denied. (+1)
- He found the diamonds and dug them up. Nice callback to Nikki and Paulo. (+1)


- Jack is one crazy mofo, if he trusts his faith enough to watch a dynamite stick fizzle out right in front of him. His overconfident grin is great too. The non-Ben highlight of the episode. (+3)


- We've never really seen Richard so defeated. Nestor was great. Dropping hints about his past to set up his later flashback was great. (+1)
- At least he's not Stalin. Wait, what? Oh, stalling. That too. But he should get a point for not being Stalin, as that is most definitely a plus. You wouldn't follow Stalin into the jungle. (+1)


- His stalling (sorry, "Stalin") tactics weren't very effective. (-1)
- Asking Richard if he was a cyborg was hilarious. Although Hurley never met Richard in 1977, if I remember correctly. I guess characters only tell eachother stuff when it's convenient. (+1)
- Got to do the classic "tun towards the beach in slow-motion" shot again. (+1)


- Asks about Jin, for a change. (-1)
- I liked her participation in the group hug scene. Cute shrug of the shoulders. (+1)


- Recounts how he missed flying Oceanic 815...he overslept. Huh. Other than that, another uneventful day in Frank land.


- Has acquired Jedi powers now and breaks Ben free, to give him an offer that Ben doesn't take. (-1)


- Carries enough weight to encourage Ben to go for the Principal's job. Similarly, I heard Obama was inspired to run for President by a random homeless guy on the street. (+1)

1. Sawyer - 12
2. Hurley - 12 (+1)
3. Flocke - 11 (-1)
4. Sayid - 11
5. Jack - 9 (+3)
6. Locke - 8 (+1)
7. Ben - 8 (+5)
8. Ilana - 6 (+2)
9. Kate - 5
10. Miles - 4 (+3)
11. Claire - 4
12. Frank - 3 (0)
13. Desmond - 2
14. Jin - 1
15. Richard - 1 (+2)
16. Sun - 0 (0)