Wednesday, 13 October 2010

Lost board Encyclopedia

This poster once had a classic exchange with Whiteshadow00

ABUMCHUCK: I'm sick of newbies thinking they're regulars
WHITESHADOW00: Who the hell are you?
ABUMCHUCK: i'm abumchuck cant you f0cking read?

Andrew Kropp
An IMDb poster who posts attention-seeking threads with pictures of himself in, usually eating pizza. He also starts threads about needing a girlfriend, hits on the women of the board, and has bad grammar. People find his actions amusing in a cringeworthy way, and thus has gained a cult status similar to Daniel Cribb. Cribb and Kropp are often referred to as mortal enemies, similar to Jacob and Esau.

Auntie Dena put her photo in the LOST family album, but for a long period of time no-one had ever seen her post, and thus didn’t know who she was. It became a running joke on the board to make references to her, as if we knew who she was.

Poster who expressed his disgust at the board, with his poor English and grammar resulting in several amusing quotes. He accused posters of "Vandalising imdb property" and his final message was "After muh consideration i have decide that this board is too ridiculous for me. people are quoting things and being silly/rude/lies."

Beep Beep, Richie
Quote from the movie "IT", used on anyone who tries to swear and is blocked by the profanity filter. Started by BadRobot22.

Starter of the “Monster??? SPOILERS” thread. He came to the board asking what the monster was, got a bunch of sarcastic posts and got frustrated by it. Responsible for the following quotes:

why are u all like this??? ive posted on many boards on imdb and ive never had responses like this....we're here to help eachother out
I figured as much…so wut is it?
time.....i lack it...i have a demanding important job
Wutever thanks for nothing
Is it the dog?

Line from “The Hills Have Eyes” remake, starring Emilie De Ravin. Started by Ben The Ripper

Bump for the coolest new poster around
The "coolest new poster" was Whore-Hay, who had all his threads bumped at the same time by a troll. Darkfire adopted it as his catchphrase as a bit, before others caught on. It's used mostly when bumping a thread.

This meme is making fun of an obscure line from the episode “White Rabbit” - where the bully who hits Jack shouts “Shoulda stayed down, Chack” - mispronouncing Jack's name. Started by WhiteShadow00.

Clicked on the link and nothing happened
Used on anyone who posted a link without URL markup. The most famous usage was an exchange involving Apzo-Boi and Candall, where after Candall was told to copy and paste he exclaimed he had ran out of paste.

Cue Gay Ass Trombone
Describes the trombone noise on the LOST soundtrack used on dramatic reveals. Originally written by Funkyant during his “Typical LOST episode” (see Funkyant)

DanielCribb123 was just some random guy who made a couple of threads about his aspirations of becoming a regular. Therefore, it became a running joke to mention DanielCribb123 whenever someone asked who the regulars were. Over time, the joke kept going and got more and more exaggerated.

The following are DanielCribb123 quotes:

What is it? Who has it? And what is it?
LOST has an ideal amount of seriousness
I assumed it was where you put a dildo
I can't remember but I know it's in my head somewhere
I’m now going anyway, I think I’ve proven I was right
But what are you going to do? So I guess I’ll just keep my mouth shut and stop complaining – but I’ll be thinking it, boy will I be thinking it

DarkUFO being in a wheelchair
It was a joke rumour, originally started by Sam Toomey and perpetuated by, amongst others, Discuss Is Not De Way. It’s false, but people like to pretend it’s true.

It has been conclusively depicted that dcjcom is the most magniloquent, vexatious affiliate of the IMDb Lost (2004) communique directorate. His tidings reek of misconception, misinterpretation, and unadulterated stupefaction. It has been conjectured that dcjcom constructs his essays utilizing the Microsoft Phrase Central Processing Unit's interchangeability raison d'ĂȘtre, which results in his contributions subsisting, verily, of mangled senseless garbage.
[written by SolarisDeschain]

Definitely can't watch this anymore
A quote from actor Alan Dale, who claims he got sick of watching LOST. From Digital Spy:

"It went through a lull in scripts in the third season. At that point I felt like I had watched them wandering in a line through the forests, a bit sweaty, for the 1,000th time. I thought 'I can't watch this anymore'. Then, out of the bushes, came a black cloud, which grabbed a black man and threw him to the ground, and I thought 'I definitely can't watch this anymore'."

Family photo / album

Cornchunk has created two family photos, a photoshopped image of the board member's pictures combined with the LOST characters.
Photo 1:
Photo 2:
Photo 3 (produced by Tim-Levier):

There is also a LOST family album, ran and maintained by Candall.

Photo submissions to the album should be sent to Candall via PM.

Fanatic About Film
This moron first made a complete douche out of himself when he refused to read the "FAQ" because he didn't like being told what to do. Any thread he posts on, and argument is sure to follow. His biggest display of idiocy was the aggression he displayed towards ZBRS for "spoiling" Lost Via Domus for him, after telling him there were Banyan trees in the game. This took place on the modern classic, "Graphics card for Lost Via Domus". If you see him around, make sure to ask him if he's played the game yet.

Fortey's petition to cancel LOST
A fake petition memorable for the angry responses it got from people who didn't realise he was joking.

Flowerlord quotes
Flowerlord rarely says anything other than the following four sentences:

It makes sense
It does, doesn't it?
Sometimes I wonder
That's absurd

Frequently repeated quotes
"Black chick in her 50's?" (Sawyer talking about Rose, 2x4 Everybody Hates Hugo)
"The steam opens up my pores" (Locke, 2x16 The Whole Truth)
"Then you don't get any coffee" (Ben, 3x1 A Tale Of Two Cities)
"Well ain't that convenient" (Sawyer, 3x16 One Of Us)
"Who? Who's Naomi?" (Penny, 3x22 Through The Looking Glass)
"I collect soil samples" (Miles, 4x2 Confirmed Dead)
"I was just on a ferris wheel" (Minkowski, 4x5 The Constant)
"Don't Be Absurd" (Chang, 5x1 Because You Left)
"Watch your cartoons, Goober" (Kate, 5x1 Because You Left)

A troll who declared that LOST sucks. He wrote what he called a typical LOST episode:


Correct genders of posters that are often got wrong

AmishVomitCake - Female
Bish-Fiscuit - Male
Bruce Campbell For Lost - Female
Dharmacide - Female
Jaskmackey - Female
Kate Dammit Run - Male
Nana - Male
Rose Beaver - Male
Sawyer90 - Male
ShinyGreenApple - Female

Good lostigating
Originated from Themisfitishere who described himself as the world's best lostigator. It means to investigate LOST.

Grand bowler
Used mainly by ZeBlackRockSalesman and BadRobot22 whist stalking Capitaine Gault. Explained by the man himself:

"I think Capitaine Gault was using a different name while posting on the Soapbox board. ZeBlackRockSalesman and others, having found out it was Capitaine, kept asking him about the actor Grant Bowler and the character of Captain Gault. Capitaine, pretending to be someone else, feigned ignorance - saying "why do people keep asking me if I'm a grand bowler?" This backfired on him like crazy as people actually started asking him "are you a grand bowler?" after that. "

Other Gault-related running jokes include: Suicide threats, Jeans (a type of pants)

Guam craze of 09
It followed the episode "316", in which Frank Lapidus tells Jack "We're not going to Guam, are we?". The line was talked about a lot, and led to lots of Guam threads. Lots of people changed their names to something Guam-related: SlowGuamsIV, Guamber Tiffany, Richard-Alpert-Is-Guam, GuamManufacturedRobot, Timetravelling Guam Key, The Ballad Of Guam, SimplyGuamy and many more.

Ha, oh boy you're gonna be in for a ride with that username lol...
Ben the Ripper originally posted it describing the name of Kevinology (who he was anticipating would be mistaken for the troll Kevin) – when the statement got repeated several times on the same thread, it became a meme

Horrible eyes
From the original statement - "I think Ben was about to cry when Widmore said he had horrible eyes" (a reference to a Widmore line in "The Shape Of Things To Come") - a lot variations emerged, such as "I think Daniel was about to cry when Widmore said he had horrible ties".

It makes sense
Started by Flowerlord – a generic response which was an excuse to bump a thread.

Is tonight’s episode a re-run?
Weekly thread started by Ankiel, originally satirising the frequency of which these threads came up back when LOST had an on-off schedule.

Jesus, my grapefruit...

Refers to a thread once started by Nana - "Jesus, my grapefruit, is squirting everywhere". Jaskmackey replied "You named your grapefruit Jesus?", and an instant classic was born. The thread was referenced and imitated many times.

Troll obsessed with Claire In Disguise. Made several rape threats about her, and was even sent to jail for a week. Had multiple accounts, and for a while all new users were accused of being Kevin.

Lost Awards

Troll who would hand out “awards” to people he deemed stupid and flame them in ALLCAPS.

Michael black: confirmed

Posted by Kate Dammit Run parodying a thread about the news that Michael was back for season 4.

Most show ever
Started by Necriid, a troll who intended to create a deliberately nonsensical statement / question.

MS Paint artwork
Talented cartoonist Bruce Campbell For LOST has drawn several masterpieces on MS Paint. Her drawings include witty depictions of various usernames.

The work of the board’s other resident artist, DEFINITIVEexplanation, who draws helpful and/or hilarious diagrams which clarify LOST plot points, can be viewed here:

My God, Kate is so beautiful
This was first posted by Thesidewinder39 after "Left Behind". The guy was gushing over how stunningly attractive Evangeline Lilly was, but most posters found his thread funny. A whole flurry of parodies soon emerged, such as "My God, the smoke monster is so beautiful".

A troll who often gives his own unique reviews of LOST, similar to Themisfitishere. Running jokes include Locke's addiction to oranges, the Monster being called Blu-ray and his use of the word "relephant". His catchphrase is "Serious answers only please".

Post 69
Miss Morticia and Giraffe Monster like to claim the 69th reply on a thread because of the numbers sexual connotations.

Poster-specific catchphrases
Catchphrases from posters not covered in any other section:

"Do you see?" - Rose Beaver
"Gentle bump for anyone who may have missed it" - DarkUFO
"Get AIDs and die" - BigSexy8Track
"Spoilers, oh my God" - Bish-Fiscuit
"Heh. I am rather enjoying this" - Moonstearneo

A variation on Sayid's line from "Confidence Man" - "We don't have bamboo in Iraq, but we do have something similar: reeds". Meme started by Eccohawk.

Reporting monkey
Term that describes the user who repeatedly reports off-topic threads. Term coined by Cornchunk. Immortalised in drawing by Candall.

Ruby Calaber X
Ruby Calaber started several memorable threads, such as "My girlfriend and I like to watch LOST together"
(His own imitation of another user who posted the same topic seriously)

He also allegedly attempted suicide after the death of Ana-Lucia leaving behind an amusing note.

Sayid’s replacement
Originally a joke thread which had a title about Sayid being replaced by Eddie Murphy only to link to a story about Banana Twinkies. Several dumb newbies took the story seriously and started duplicate threads asking whether it was true.

Shirtless Sawyer
Started by Ankiel. Used as a nonsense response to threads not deemed worthy of a proper reply. Variations include: Mopless Kevin, Lifeless Locke, Waltless Michael, Caneless Nestor

Slumdog Purge
An epic event that took place on the night of Slumdog Millionaire's Oscar win. Instigated by Blacademic, Participants included Sportsman, Whysohood, NYCub, bzztfields, Third Island, Subatomic, AdnanZ, Walter Eagle, Pyram1dhead, LostInDeadwood, Shallowbay, Howdy464, theyank and others, who decided to flood the board with LOST-related topics. Repurcussions included deleted posting histories and heavy posting quotas (as severe as 1 hour in the case of Sportsman). Even Bish-Fiscuit was punished, despite his only thread being an attempt to stop it. He left the board for a bit upset, which caused several others to worry about him. The participants maintain their antics were harmless compared to that of the real trolls, and were actually improving the board.

Sullen Girl
User described by many as a drama queen, who had a temper tantrum after being left off a list of regulars. Had several meltdowns - one when she was left off a list of regulars, another when her personal information got posted on the board.

Talk Like A Pirate Day name changes
On September 19 the board members change their name to something pirate-themed to mark this important national day. This was first brought to the board's attention by Kounebone.

Thanks in advance
The statement Ankiel would write in her “Is Tonight’s Episode A Re-run?” thread. Usually used on a question that isn’t serious.

Other Ankiel catchphrases include "Thanks for stopping by" and "How are things on the X board?"

A long-running troll who is a parody of fans who come up with daft theories. His notable traits include bad grammar, random capitalisation and major inaccuracies with even the simplest LOST facts. Most of Themisfitishere's humour comes from taking screencaps and misinterpreting them or forming an outlandish theory over something which is simply a prop error.

To the extreme
A series of threads started by Rod Blondel, the original being "Kate is TO THE EXTREME!!" The thread became an instant classic and has been imitated many times.

With Cane being cancelled, Nestor Carbonell should be free for LOST
This was a statement first made by a poster using odd punctuation, which resulted in the same statement being repeated with a slightly different variation each time. Eventually, it became a catchphrase.

Why didn’t Charlie swim out the window?

After season three finished, this question was asked repeatedly much to the annoyance of regulars.

Insane-Romantic made a double post on the subject beginning with “I expect this has been brought up before but it’s bugging me” which embodied the topic so much, people kept repeating it again and again.

This one was first used by z138102. Irritated by the "clicked on the link but nothing happened" responses (see above) his thread was getting, he started a sarcastic thread called "How to use a URL", where he wrote: "Now press the "enter" or "return" key on your keyboard. Viola!" It's always funny to see someone trying to be a smartass unintentionally do something stupid, so needless to say people seized it and it became a meme.

Sub-meme: "Is this a subtle reference to Batman?" - The original topic that resulted in his outburst. He thought Locke's backgammon pieces were like Two Face's coin.

You probably don't know how good it is compared to me
Quote from The Eyeland, who professed to be a bigger LOST fan than Tuuls.

Zid quotes
Just keep my name out of your cripple fingers when you type on your pathetic windows 95 keyboard!
And you yet haven't answer my question, is it true?
^ message ignore. I wonder what that poser is saying? *beep* gaylord distorted bastard!
some of yout thought I was a normal nice guy, and others think I'm a nut sack.
That's perpotrous! I never concurred such convoluted lie. How dare you!
I for sure don't likou and most likely you whore of a mother doesn't like you either.
Either the OT is the most foolish person ever or he is just being stupid on prupose.
I'm a man of my world!
Wow! This Board Room Has Become Ellaboratively Grieving
Son't you have some studying to do, nerd?
I purposely said all those rolf quotes because I knew you dickwad "Regs" were going to quote them

Tuesday, 12 October 2010

LOST board mysteries: Auntiedena72

If you've ever visited the family album, you've seen the face of Auntiedena72. You will never have seen her post, though. You've probably heard the jokes - her obscurity was so famous, it became funny for a while to pretend she was the most active person here. We all figured she was someone who rarely posted, was there the day Candall first asked for submissions, and then disappeared, never to return. Everybody dreamed of one day meeting the mysterious Auntiedena72.

Then one day, it happened. Auntiedena72 came back to the LOST board. She posted a few times, seemed nice enough, and was slightly taken aback at how many fans she had.

Or so we thought.

A few months later it was revealed the Auntiedena72 who posted was a fake. It was actually the account of an old troll named hot-jok, who had changed his name for a prank. It was like finding out Santa was really your dad.

But here's the thing..the troll used her exact name. IMDb doesn't let you take the name of a user that has been already used. Therefore, there was nobody who had that name on IMDb, ever before.

So it was all a long con by a troll, right? Maybe not. Hot-jok claims he is not Auntiedena72, he just wanted to mimic her and was surprised as hell when he found he was able to use the exact ID.

Weird, right? So does Auntiedena72 exist at all? Well, it appears she does, at least in some form. Google Auntiedena72 and you find a public photobucket containing the picture used. She also has a Youtube account. In the age of internet anoymity, who is to say those accounts are even real, but it looks legit to me. No evidence she's ever been on IMDb at all, though.

So how did her photo get in the family album? I have not been able to talk to Candall about this, as he is rarely online anymore. It would be interesting to hear what he has to say.


* Hot-jok is fucking with us. Auntiedena72 is just some poor girl with a public photobucket account, and hot-jok submitted her photo for a joke. Or, someone else did and he capitalized on it. It's possible. He's not the most trustworthy member of the board. But it seems like an awfully elaborate, not to mention pointless, prank.

* Candall entered Auntiedena72's name wrong. Maybe it was Auntiedena_72, or Auntie_Dena72. But then why is her photobucket and Youtube account name the same way as the album?

*Auntiedena72 is Candall's real aunt. Amusing, but not likely to be true.


The fact that nobody really knows the real story behind Auntiedena72 is what made her such a myth in the first place. There's no one theory that seems to account for everything. So, we're left asking the same question we were when we first saw her picture in the album...

Who are you, Auntiedena72?