Tuesday, 28 April 2009

Monster??? SPOILERS by BonJ0vi813

Newbies often come to the board to be bombarded with sarcastic and joke answers. Yet none were as memorable as the time Bonj0vi813 graced our shores. It provided a comedy platform for many members, and cruel it may be, we laughed at his frustration. His bewildered reaction to the reception he got became the board's motto, and was quoted endlessly by the other members , along with every other line he wrote - several users could recite his posts off by heart. One of the funniest parts of the thread is when he is given the correct answer but dismisses it. It is the second longest-running thread in the LOST board's history, surviving from 15th September 2008 to 27th April 2009. As Bish-Fiscuit said : "It was the tale of one man's failure to triumph over adversity. We will never forget you, BonJ0vi813. Your message of love and tolerance has inspired us all." Most of the thread composed of quotes being repeated again and again, but I bring you just the highlights. Despite his fame, Bonj0vi813 is yet to return to the LOST board due to the important demands of his job, but we live in hope.

BONJ0VI813: ive never watched lost till today so bare with me please im a rookie....im not gonna be able to watch the next 3 episodes from season 1 on sci-fi...so can someone tell me please what this scary monster thing that killed the pilot and chases them is?

BISH-FISCUIT: Oh, you're going to be so disappointed.

BONJOVI813: i figured as much..so wut is it?


BONJOVI813: is it the dog?

BISH-FISCUIT: I like to think so.

PERCEHONSON: It's Bon Jovi in a monks robe. He kills people with a waterhose and a giant pair of scissors.

CHAIRMAN LMAO: Don't listen to any of them, they are lying. It is a shapeshifter, exactly like the one in Terminator 2. There is an inside joke on the board that it is a cloud of black smoke, ignore any fool who says that.

BONJOVI813: why are u all like this??? ive posted on many boards on imdb and ive never had responses like this....we're here to help eachother out

DRFEELGOODHITOFTHESUMMER: You've come to a bad place BonJovi..

CHAIRMAN LMAO: I gave you a serious answer you ungrateful man. It is a shapeshifter, end of story. Therefore, it can become anything. If I was lying I would tell you some crap about a 500 year old invisible guy in a cabin that runs the island.

BISH-FISCUIT: I really like this quote. This should be our motto". The Lost Board: why are u all like this??? we're here to help eachother out


NYCUB: I agree Bish. I will add it to my repertoire of non-sequiturs, along with Shirtless Sawyer, It makes sense, I collect soil samples and I was just on a ferris wheel.

ASUKA-ON-A-STICK (JAYTRIX): It's a puff of black smoke...I sht you not. Black. Smoke.

BONJOVI813: wutever thanks for nothing.

BISH-FISCUIT: LOL! Yeah, how dare you tell him that the monster is made up of black smoke. That's just absurd.

DANCEBATMANDANCE: Black smoke? Wtf. What a lie. It's an actual monster. Some sort of large, dinosaur-like creature.

DRUNKEN BEARDED JACK: Why is spoilers in the title of the thread? If you do not know what the smoke monster is how can you spoil us?

BONJOVI813: spoilers is there because some people like me who havent seen lost and want to may not wanna kno wut it is

DANCEBATMANDANCE: If you want to know, why not just watch the show? It's not like you need to wait for the episodes. There's DVDs, reruns, and online episodes.

BONJOVI813: time.....i lack it...i have a demanding important job

MISTER EFF: Really? 'Cause you kinda sound like a twelve year old.

THE TOKER: Of course he does, he's f*%£$ng Iron Man!!

RUFIO90210: yeah, bon jovi has to go back on tour. he doesnt have time to wait and find out what the baloney monster is.

EBOYKEN: If only he was named bonj0vi815 instead of 813, then he could be kinda cool

BONJOVI813: wow it really is black smoke thanks Asuka-on-a-stick

ECCOHAWK: why has no one told him it was a pissed off giraffe yet!?!

STOPYFUEH: Good point. I guess we're not as sharp as you, Hawkman!

GIRAFFE MONSTER: But I’m not pissed.

ECCOHAWK: in all seriousness, bon jovi, the monster is called richard

JAIME222: Dude, you just gotta keep watching, there is so much more to see. This show is addicting so beware. Don't bother replying to the dorks who are mean on message boards...behind a computer, a lot of pathetic losers get god-complexes and become self-righteous because they are safely tucked away in their mother's basement with their cat on their lap and cheeto stained Styx T-shirts.

MIKHAILS EYEPATCH: I resent that! I wear REM T-shirts

SUN KWON: in all seriousness, the monster is a huge cluster of those small flies/bees that john coffey would spew out in the green mile. somehow they all migrated to the island. i think it has something to do with the warm weather...

BATMITE111: It look to me like this poster had a relevant question and you all just turned on him like a pack of huonds. disgusted

KUSH93: Wutever thanks for nothing

MISSMORTICIA: Why thank you, humourless troll! Somehow, I TOTALLY missed this thread until now, and I had NO idea where "why are u all like this?" came from!

BATMITE111: Nobody answere his question. Why ARE you all like this to other posters who just want to discus lost?


BATMITE111: Yes you did kick this poor poster when he was down. Saddist

TARHEELS2002: What the hell is a "saddist"?

HOWSITFEELSLIKE: You know I almost forgot why I actually love this board and then I seen this thread and I knew you regular guys were gonna just tease the hell out this poor kid. it's hilarious.

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